I think back on high school and don't remember close friends.
When I was standing at graduation there were a few people I thought were cool. Some people I really loved. No one knew me on the level that I wanted to be known, though. The friends I thought had leveled with me in life abandoned me with all my trust in tow.
That's not a sob story. It doesn't even make me sad. It's just the truth of growing up.
I think back, but I'm wrong. There was this handful of people. They graduated before me, but their presence in my life and the happenstance of how they got there makes me think there are bigger powers at work.
CW was the ring leader. He insisted we play a practice session in class so I could see how it worked. I was curious, after all. It felt strained. Totally weird. I wasn't even sure I liked it, but I did like CW and his friend Garrison.
CW may not remember this, but he called my cell phone a few days later. My ancient flip phone I only used to call my mother. I was barely aware that I'd given him the number. He insisted I come to his house to play. Play? Pathfinder, of course. A tabletop RPG. To be clear, "DnD" refers to Dungeons and Dragons, the original and most lauded tabletop RPG system. Pathfinder is the system we use, but they're highly similar.
I was beside myself with anxiety. Not only was I not social, I didn't know them as well as I would have liked. I decided to go anyway. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Tay, CW, Garrison, Chris, Morgan, Natalie, Joslyn, Tyler, others. Some have come and gone, but all of them have helped me cement this part of my life. Tay and CW are getting married and I'm the one marrying them. Their families are my families. I'd do just about anything for them. Garrison, the aforementioned best man, is a best friend. He could walk into my house unannounced and I wouldn't be concerned. Nothing between us has changed. Morgan's culinary prowess impressed my family and made it to our house for a huge party. I haven't even met Natalie in person, but she's added a lot of fun to our online sessions.
So, why RPG? What makes it special? What makes it the perfect glue to hold people in your life?
1. It makes you vulnerable.
If you have a good DM, you'll have a good story. You're going to have to make hard choices and choices you don't want to make. You'll likely get emotionally or at least mentally invested to the point where you'll end up really caring about the outcome. If your character is at low health, you'll feel real fear. Fortunately, you have a party of players with you to help.
2. It makes you think and get strategic.
What seems impossible may just be a good strategy away. You have to play with your party to approach situations correctly. You'll have to work and talk your way out of sticky situations if you don't want to end up in a fight. A good DM never puts a problem in front of you that can never be solved. It just takes some serious work to solve them, sometimes.
3. It makes you get creative.
You're the only constant in a sprawling universe your DM is in charge of, and they aren't going to tell you their secrets. You've got to work them out on your own. Solutions that seem crazy may be correct. Puzzle pieces have to come together for the story unfolding to continue. If the players don't bite, the DM can't shine as a world builder.
4. It makes you competitive.
It's usually you and your party against the DM's universe. Sometimes the DM is going to present you with a battle you by all technical means shouldn't be able to win. Then you show them up. Sometimes if the circumstances of your situation allow, you'll be fighting your party members or trying to be better than them. In order to keep pace with the DM, you'll need to improve and maximize your abilities on paper.
5. It's endless possibility.
The Pathfinder system we use has math that can be easily adjusted. DMs (and sometimes players) can make their own races, enviornments, backstories, anything. You can create worlds that have never existed, or apply math to worlds that already do. There are few things that can't be accomplished within the context of a table top.
6. You can become anything.
A different age? A different race? A different gender? You got it. Want to give yourself a character trait, flaw, or condition that you've always been fascinated by? Do it. You can literally make your character into anything the DM will allow, and DMs are usually pretty open to creativity with your character.
7. You laugh a ton.
When you're hanging out with your friends, trying new voices and sometimes making ridiculous choices, the possibilities for inside jokes are endless. Sometimes your DM will want to make you laugh, and they've had days to prepare for that experience.
8. You might cry a ton, and that's important too.
Once, the win condition of a campaign was slaying my character's best friend. I was nearly in tears and when I closed the call, I was actually in tears. Not because I was sad. I was totally detached from the situation. They were just characters. It felt like the best way to complete the story, so I was kind of in awe. Fiction is a reflection of reality. We cry at books. We cry at movies. We cry at RPG, too. It's a safe environment to do it, and you're never alone.
9. You can try anything in a no stakes environment.
Seriously, anything. You're not you. You're your character. You don't hurt anyone or make any choices that impact your real life. You just speak your actions, roll some dice, and they become reality in the imagination you're sharing with your friends. You can test choices, roles, characters. Anything.
