I've gotten so fat.
If I eat chicken nuggets for lunch, then I just won't eat dinner.
Why are my legs so big?
Why is my hair so thin?
Ladies, it's time to stop. Stop doubting your beauty. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop starving yourself. Stop judging the girl in the mirror looking back at you. Just stop.
You're beautiful just the way you are. I know—you hear this cliche all the time but sorry, it's true. If you don't start believing it, who will? It's time to let go of the anger towards God for how he created you and embrace it.
Throughout high school and college, I constantly struggled with my reflection in the mirror. More than once a day, I would look at myself and snarl. I never felt skinny enough. I never felt pretty enough. I just never felt like I was enough, in general. My insecurities became my ultimate weakness. I looked to Victoria's Secret models for motivation to lose weight, I looked to Instagram for people's approval, I looked to boys for a confidence boost. Needless to say, I was doing it all wrong. Sure, I would get a good confidence boost... For about five minutes. Then it was back to complaining about my body type or why my hair wouldn't grow.
I continued to dig myself into a deep, deep hole of depression and failure—until one day, a light went off in my head...
Where did I find this definition of beauty?
I proceeded to ask my best friend Merriam-Webster for some answers. Webster defines beauty as "a combination of qualities, such as shape, color or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight."
Alright, so my next question was "What is considered pleasing to sight?" I decided this question was more suited for the man upstairs—so I began searching my Bible for answers, and I came across this passage:
"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." —1 Peter 3:3-4, KJV
Although Webster describes beauty as pleasing to sight, God describes beauty as pleasing from the soul. Do you see the problem? The world is telling us that beauty comes from how people physically see us but real beauty can be seen within us.
Beauty can be discovered from the moments that we are physically least attractive. For myself, it's those moments spent journaling on the front porch of my Tennessee home, singing at the top of my lungs while commuting from home to campus or "cruising" through my small town with the best friends a girl could ask for. Windows down, hair all over my face, makeup running down my cheeks. These are the moments I feel most beautiful.
I feel the most beautiful during these moments because they are times I feel nothing but pure freedom. I don't feel defined by a model on television or a man I hardly know. The people I'm with love me for who I am and appreciate my inner beauty... My personality: quirky, goofy and a bit awkward.
Take it from someone who has been there—judging one's beauty based on physical appearance will get you nowhere. It will get you nowhere in relationships with yourself, boyfriends or God.
Make the choice right now to embrace your inner beauty. Embrace the physical and mental qualities that God blessed you with. I promise that is where true beauty lies.
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." —Proverbs 30:22, KJV
