When I was a kid, my parents, like many parents these days, got divorced. I was young but old enough to remember. At the time, I was upset, but I had no idea how much it would screw me up. I fell into the stereotypes where all children of divorce end up.
For starters, I, of course, blamed myself. There could be no other possible reason for their breaking up than me,
Just as I blamed myself for the separation, I blame the divorce for everything that goes wrong in my life. I received a bad grade in a class? Didn't get the job I interviewed for? Had a fight with a friend? It's because my parents aren't together, of course. Some may say I am using a traumatic event from my past as a scapegoat for my problems, but maybe I do it for a good reason. The divorce probably is the reason for all these things. I mean, it seriously damaged me in my childhood. Odds are, my terribly distorted psyche is to blame.
Furthermore, my parent's separation has given me countless emotional problems. How could I possibly be happy if mom and dad don't live in the same house? Going back and forth between homes, and spending good, quality time with each parent was exhausting. And how could I find stability with a broken family? It has left me constantly searching for a feeling of family, even though I have two loving parents who provide me with all the care and support I need. I would have been much more content living under one roof with my fighting and unhappily married parents.
My parents' divorce also seriously screwed up my outlook on love. I mean if my parents - two people who were obviously wrong for each other - couldn't make it, how could I ever expect to find love. Based on this one situation I don't know how anyone could hope for a successful relationship. Because of this, I also can't open up emotionally. How could I let someone in when we could we could end up like my parents? We are obviously exactly the same, so any relationship would inevitably fail.
On a serious note, I know that these are real problems for some children of divorce. However, they are sometimes used as stereotypes to describe all of us. I am not saying divorce is an easy or good thing. It's difficult for everyone involved. I am simply expressing that it is not always the worst thing. I believe that the effect of divorce on children has much more to do with how the situation is handled than the situation itself.
