Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I decided to cover the topic, comparison because it is something that so many people are guilty of, including myself.

Comparison: The act of evaluating two or more things by determining relevant characteristics of each thing to be compared, and determining which characteristics of each are similar to one another, which are different, and to what degree.

Ever since Middle School, I started becoming more self-aware of who I was and who other people are, so I started to be more self-conscious about myself. It was just the typical Middle School insecurities such as: Am I popular enough? Am I cool? Do people like me? Am I smart enough? Do I wear cool clothes?

I soon began to realize that the comparison game doesn't end. I went to high school and people compared themselves to each other too. Now I am currently in college and I feel like I am comparing myself to others more than ever. College can feel vulnerable sometimes because living with your friends or your roommates is so much different than just hanging out and going on occasional vacations. You really start to see who people are and why they are the way they are and why you are the way you are. It can get to such an extreme that you start questioning yourself. When this happens I have to realize I grew up in a totally different place than my friends. I was raised differently, I was taught different morals and I have different goals and career ideas. Sometimes I get uncomfortable thinking I'm not adequate enough because someone has a better GPA, a great internship, a hot boyfriend, a great body and everything going for them.

Once I get into this negative headspace I realize this is not worth my time or energy AT ALL. Who cares what the other person is doing because they aren't me? Just because they have a great internship, doesn't mean I won't get a great one in the future. I can still get a strong GPA if I put the work in and I am beautiful in my own way. I can be having a great day and then there is that one person who has something I don't have. Then the great day I was having doesn't even matter because I spend my whole day contemplating myself and who I am. But why?

The thing that truly blows my mind is that I know for a fact there are people out there who are comparing themselves to me. There are aspects of my life that they wish they had. This goes for everyone. We are so in tune with our flaws and insecurities that we are completely blindsided by the people who want to be us and that envy us.

Comparing yourself to others can put you in a funk and make you forget about all of the qualities that make you, you. This is something I struggle with every day and I have to remind myself of the greatness I have inside of me. Comparing yourself to others is depriving yourself of success. You can be using that energy to be working on yourself and your goals. If you ever start to question anything about yourself because of someone else, take a closer look. Take a closer look at why you are doing that and how it makes you feel. It doesn't feel so hot right? You can have a supportive significant other, caring friends and a great relationship with your family and still play the comparison game. Your friends can constantly tell you how amazing you are or your parents can tell you that you are on track, but if you don't feel that way about yourself it doesn't matter. It's so wild to me that we are our own worst critics. We see the flaws in ourselves that nobody else sees no matter how hard you tell them to look for them.

At the end of the day, everyone is so different it logically doesn't even make sense to compare yourself to them. Some people have it easier or harder than you due to factors that neither of you can control. You can't control other people comparing themselves to others, but you can keep yourself from doing it you.