When I was seven, my sister and I were the new kids again and they were fascinated with us. Of course, that only lasts so long and then we’re old news and everything changes. They started to call my sister and me lesbians because we were twins and we did "everything" together. They used to call us all of these hurtful words seven-year-olds shouldn't know. I didn't know what half the words meant but I knew it was meant to hurt us. I went into second grade happy and with this innocent view on life and came out less happy and realizing that life isn’t so innocent.

When I was in third grade, it only got worse. My sister and I used to come home crying every day because we didn’t understand how people, how children could be so cruel. The school knew about the bullying too, but they never did anything about it. I started second guessing myself and the person I wanted to be. I was never the most outgoing person, but the bullying didn’t help.

The bullying went on and got worse with every year until after fifth grade and the only reason was because we had switched schools. In sixth grade, my sister and I were the new kids again and just like before everyone was fascinated with us. The fascination lasted a bit longer at this school, but over the summer something changed and in seventh grade, we have been bullied again. They would call us names and make fun of our thick curly hair and at recess they would surround us and just laugh for no reason at all. It hurt and it affected me a lot.

Those bullies took a sweet seven-year-old with nothing to worry about and turned her into a disappointed seven years old worried about things seven-year-olds shouldn’t worry about. Those other bullies took a disappointed 12-year-old worried about silliness and turned her into a 12-year-old who felt defeated and not beautiful at all.

You see bullying affected me quite a bit. It turned me into this person who puts up walls to keep people out and who’s afraid to open up to people. I realized early on that once people know you’re insecurities they can use them against you and it hurts.

I find myself wondering if I would be different now had I not been bullied and not made to think that who I am isn’t good enough, but then I also think that I love who I am and why should I let that get to me.

For a long time, I let the bullies win and get the best of me. I let them inside my head making me think I’m this or I’m that, but I’m not what they called me or who they made me out to be. I’m a great person and yes, I have my flaws but I’m great as well. About two or so years ago, I finally realized that I shouldn’t let the bullies win. They did what they did to make themselves feel better and maybe it worked for them and maybe it didn’t. I don’t know, but I realized I have to start making myself feel better and that meant finally letting go of all the insecurities and negative thoughts those bullies made me think about myself.

So yeah, bullying sucks and for anyone who’s been bullied you know how much it can hurt. It hurt me, but eventually I had let go of them and take charge of my own life. The bullies no longer win, I do.