I am shy. Part of being shy, for me at least, is fear of social judgment. I tend to not talk when I’m in a group of people because I worry about what I’ll say and how I’ll say it. I rehearse my words in my mind before speaking to make sure they’ll come out right. All the while, my heart is beating at what seems to be an alarmingly high rate and my knee is bouncing up and down in an attempt to shake off some nerves. Of course, situations do not always turn out as planned. Sometimes words stumble or I’ll have to repeat myself, which makes me feel self-conscious. During those times I want to hide where no one can see me. Needless to say, I don’t like messing up in front of others or being the center of attention.

That being said, I am able to laugh at myself. And when I don’t overthink situations or dwell on past mistakes that make me cringe, and instead live more in the moment, awkward public occurrences do not seem so bad.

Let me tell you about the bee incident.

It all started on an October morning. I was walking across my school’s academic quad to get breakfast. My morning class had gotten out early, and since there’s a coffee cart in the building I was leaving, I was holding a coffee drink as I walked across the lawn. That’s when it happened. A bee flew by and landed on the lid of my drink. I put my drink down on the sidewalk and waited until the bee left to continue on my way. I do not like bees.

A few steps later and the bee was back, once again landing on my drink. I repeated my actions — and the bee came back a third time. Except this time, the bee decided to land on my glasses. Without thinking, I quickly took off my glasses and threw them onto the wet grass beside me. But the bee wasn’t going to give up so easily. It proceeded to land on my rain jacket. Once again, my first instinct was to take off my jacket. Unfortunately, taking off my jacket was harder than taking off my glasses, as I was wearing a backpack.

So there I was in the middle of the academic quad struggling to remove my jacket when two very kind people with concerned looks on their faces asked me if I was alright. I told them that there was a bee, hoping that the statement would serve as a rational explanation as to why my drink, glasses, and backpack were scattered around me. They seemed to understand, and the three of us silently stood in a half circle around my coffee as the bee made its way around the lid. Finally, the bee left and did not return. The two good Samaritans said goodbye, and I continued on my way, excited to tell my friends my amusing, yet embarrassing story.

Besides leaving me with an entertaining incident to look back on and laugh at, the bee made me realize that embarrassing things are going to happen, and more importantly, that I will survive those instances. I still feel anxious talking in groups. I still prefer to stay quiet because it is easier that way. But when I start judging myself about all the ways I messed up after talking in front of others, I can remind myself of the bee incident and feel better. What just happened is probably not as embarrassing as what happened with the bee. I got through the bee incident because I didn’t overthink (which actually might have helped in that situation but that’s not the point) so I just need to calm down and not overthink the current one I’m in. All I can do is my best, and everything will turn out OK.