I believe that the words “how are you” are fake, insincere, and thus unnecessary. What likely began as a genuine way to find out how another person was doing has evolved into nothing more than a social norm and nicety. Every time I see someone, I ask how they are and they ask how I am, and it follows the same routine every time.
“Hello, how are you?”
“Well, thank you, and you?”
“Well, thanks.”
After this mundane routine, it leads into the more important part of the conversation. 9/10 times, I do not truly care how that person is, and they do not genuinely care about me. I'm not saying that they do not care about me, I'm saying they do not want to get into a long discussion about how I am doing, therefore a "how are you" is superficial. But there are many people that I do care about and want to help when possible, “how are you” is just not an efficient way of doing that. At the very beginning of a conversation, no one launches into a deep discussion on how they feel, it takes a while to build up to that. If they had indeed spoke their actual feelings instead of just the normal “good” it would make the entire conversation that was going to take place irrelevant, as it would either become forgotten or too awkward to have.
Not only this, but “how are you” is a vicious and brutal thing, when someone initiates these cruel words, a person has no choice to say them, or be branded as a social outcast. Okay, not that extreme, but a person is oftentimes labeled as antisocial and rude if they do not reciprocate the words. Even if someone does get offended after not having someone reiterate the exact response they just gave, do they even care? Odds are, they just feel that you are rude for not saying the cursed words, and not that you do not care for them.
Keep in mind however, that there are many people I do care about, and those who care for me. I merely believe that "how are you" is not an effective way to go about inquiring on someone's well being. It would be far more meaningful if people were to hold an actual discussion with another person, instead of lying every time and saying "good". If I recall correctly, there has not been a single time when I have ever told the truth and talked about how I was doing in response to a how are you. I’m not trying to be rude, I just don’t particularly care to talk about how I am, it makes me uncomfortable, and for this reason I eternally have a front up that I’m happy, even when I’m not.
Perhaps if there were a better, more sincere way to talk with others about how we feel, then more people would be better off mentally, as they feel that others actually care about what they have to say and how they are doing.
