Courtesy of our millennial trends, it is officially hot girl summer. And believe me when I tell you the key to thriving this season is loving yourself. Self-confidence has most definitely been the hardest thing I've ever done. And I still don't think I've even successfully reached my point of contentment, but I can assure you I am definitely in a better place than I was before. For many years I hid behind a facade that everything in my life was shit only because of my "bad karma" or whatever nonsense reason I decided to conjure up. Don't get me wrong I did have a great deal of bad luck over the span of my 20 years of existing, but the biggest demon I've encountered was myself. Unfortunately, there is no solution to my inevitable bad luck, however, I've figured out a few things I can do to combat the negativity under my control. And with this new found journey to love myself I think it's some perfect timing to strive towards Megan Thee Stallion's "hot girl summer."
To begin my self-love journey I needed to realize that my biggest flaw was clearly insecurity. I've always doubted my own potential by striving towards someone else's goals. So like any other human, I played the cruel game of comparison. I think everyone is guilty of this detrimental habit which creates unrealistic expectations. (Except the rare few people I've encountered that are self-centered and cocky, they can kindly be excluded). It's a Bermuda Triangle trap to fall into because the comparisons are never-ending. From schoolwork, relationships, family, achievements, vacations, exercise and so on it's all a scary, downward spiral of negativity. And sadly I have failed to realize that until a few weeks ago. The sole intent of hot girl summer is to be yourself and live your life up to your own standard. And by realizing that I was basing my life off of others was the first thing I needed to work on. So on the scale of self loathe to full-blown narcissist I knew I fell way off the insecure end. I mainly needed to realize that my life shouldn't depend on how someone else is living theirs. As stupid as that even sounds to say it was, unfortunately, a genuine problem that I had. But I think it develops from another issue I needed to work on which was listening to other people's opinions. I have the worst habit of justifying my achievements in life with someone else's approval. And typically their approval comes from comparing it to something else (how ironic). In the end, I fail to mentally congratulate myself for my own achievements because I patiently await grand approval from someone else. Subconsciously these little assertions do have their effects, and it became a convoluted mentality that needed to be changed. Ultimately, to better myself, I had to value my own approval first because it is always going to be the most important opinion. Not letting side comments from irrelevant people interject your own parade is the key to successfully being a part of hot girl summer.
Next on my journey to joining hot girl summer was occupying my time with things I'm passionate about. As a person who cares way too much about other people, I failed to give myself the attention I deserved. I let myself go as a priority while centering all my attention around the people around me. Sadly, being a "good person" has always been first on my agenda, but I don't even know what that entails anymore. I came to the conclusion that my definition of being a good person was making everyone around me happy. But I failed to be my own lifeline for so long. It is a good thing to prioritize others rather than yourself to a certain extent. But for me, it harmed my own outlook on life and was making me feel worse about my worth. In the end, I was left with nothing I was passionate about and nothing to occupy my spare time when I wasn't with someone else or in school. This summer I have centered so much of my time on my self by working out, doing a job I love, and filling my spare time with my passions. However, alongside all of that, I still have maintained a healthy balance with the social life I had before. Just doing things for myself was so weird at first because I just felt guilty for not doing things for something else. Filling my spare time for my own benefit was a strange, but much needed feeling. And I can guarantee a hot girl summer vibe starts with loving and valuing yourself inside and out. Find your passions and excel doing the things you love before you go to prioritize others. And in the end, loving yourself first makes things much easier to love others.
The last thing I want to mention is to know your self-worth. This is all going to sound so cliché but let me explain. Sometimes I fall into literal existential crises thinking about why we exist. And this is obviously such a difficult concept to fathom. But I think what comes out of these middle of the night thoughts is that we all individually have some impact in this world. And I know that sounds so TJMaxx postery but hear me out. Whatever our impact may be, I think it's so important to understand that you have significant worth and value. So don't ever belittle your efforts to be who you are just because you may think you aren't worthy of something. Know your self worth and embrace it because there can't be another you *painted in gold glitter on canvas and sold for $9.99*. There is a reason you are living the life you are, and it is only in your hands to make it better. If you're neglecting yourself there isn't truly anyone else that will sit there and improve your life for you. I found myself being a little too dependent on others for my own happiness and I didn't realize that I had just enough if not more capacity to sustain myself. Just know that your worth is very significant and the best person you have to rely on is always yourself first. And trust me being that bad bitch this hot girl summer thrives off of self-worth and confidence.
With all jokes aside and with all of that being said and preached, let's live our best lives this hot girl summer.