I love my job and I love who I work for. However, being a host, there are definitely some things I could go without.
1. Kids
Kids make a host's job a nightmare. Whether it's spilling the milk during a busy part of the day, or throwing their noodles at another table, they aren't helping our job. The worst part is when they wave and smile on their way out - you have to do the same back, but it's like they know what they've done.
2. Table Hoppers
The restaurant is on a forty minute wait and then suddenly Jack and Jill from the bar decide to leave it and jump on a table that hasn't even been cleaned off, and act like they've been there the whole time. It ends in two ways: You ask them to leave the table and they leave, or you have to pull your managers to the table and give them a lecture.
3. The Dog Person
Yes, it's okay to have your dog on the furthest table in the restaurant. However, it's not okay to walk your dog through the front of the restaurant and act like you had no idea dogs weren't allowed there. If it's not a service dog, it's completely unacceptable. Just pray that they don't make a scene and question your love for dogs.
4. The Self Sitter
They walk right by you and the host stand when they enter the restaurant and immediately sit at whatever table they want, and then complain when there's no service within 45 seconds of them sitting down.
5. Confusion For A Manager
Please stop pulling me aside and asking me every question under the sun, talking about how the kids that I've never met are, and asking if I can do this or that or the other thing that I have virtually no access to. I wear a shirt and a tie, but I'm 19, and just a host.
6. People That Don't Understand Wait Times
They're an estimate. If I say it should be fifteen, it could be fifteen, but maybe it's just ten or as long as twenty. Stop coming up to the host stand and complaining about not being sat. If I quote you forty-five minutes and you come up at the thirty minutes telling me it's been shitty service, just please look at your phone and compare it to the time I put you in at. If it's been an extended amount of time, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to make it go faster. I can't help that table 22 has been done for an hour and a half but refuses to get up.
7. People That Sit Forever
Please, get up and do something with the rest of your night instead of delaying other people that want to sit there. You've been on the same inch of beer for the past two hours, you've paid, the waitress is ready to leave, and I'm running a twenty-minute wait when it shouldn't be any time at all. Thank you, for pissing the entire staff off. Especially myself.
8. Scapegoat For Chores
Toilet clogged? Host. Do weeds need to be pulled? Griff! I don't mind doing these things and other chores, but I really don't want to get grass stains on the pants I just bought the other day.
9. Forgetting Someone On The Wait
It doesn't happen often but when it does, things turn ugly. The only weak excuse that you can muster is from Hannah Montana: Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days.
10. Managers Forget You're There
Since I don't have a set time to leave while at work, I get sent home at a different time nearly every night. However, there are some nights when there are a mere two tables an hour before close and for some reason, my manager hasn't sent me home. Perhaps they were going upstairs to do some work and forgot, or maybe they just, well, forgot about me. I shouldn't be there earning money for leaning over at the host stand watching ESPN.
11. "Can I Sit At The Big Booth?"
Party of two? No, you can't sit at the booth that fits up to twelve. Why not, you may ask? Why are you even asking?
You can find me hosting the night away most Friday and Saturday nights at Sebago Brewing Company in Gorham, Maine.
I hope you enjoyed and hope that some can relate!
