Based on a True Story
A man, on the corner of First and Temple in Los Angeles, California tells me his story. He came to Los Angeles with big dreams and a vision where his name is lit up in lights, to now. He lives day by day and sleeps on the cold concrete, in Los Angeles. Before I continue this man asked me to refrain from pictures, and his real name so with that being said I will refer to him as John Doe.
John Doe is from Stockton, California and grew up in a middle class working household. He struggled with school, and found happiness watching David Copperfield and learning about Harry Houdini. At the age of 16, John knew he wanted to be a magician, and make it big to have a show in Vegas and travel the world with his name and picture on billboards in Los Angeles. He packed up his bags and moved to LA at the age of 23 in hopes of a big break. Little did he know, he would end up on streets.
After countless days and nights on the famous Sunset strip performing his magic tricks, he decided to find a job that could help afford a place to live. Stayed in hotels and sometimes slept on the couch of his friends house. Now at 38-years-old he has been homeless for 15 years. What lead him to be homeless was the drugs and alcohol. He found multiple jobs that paid minimum wage and because he was frustrated with never getting his big break or an opportunity to pursue his dream. In order to cope with that constant feeling of hopelessness he found himself at ease with alcohol. His money would be spent on liquor and sometimes a sandwich if he couldn't find anything in the dumpster of the restaurants. He has been caught many times by the owners and one even chased him down and beat him for constantly taking his food.
“I am almost 40 and have achieved nothing. I feel hopeless, hopeless about my future. I have given up the dream of ever being a magician. I give up asking people for money, I have been told "no" too many times, but it still hurts every time. I have given up standing on the side of the freeway holding a sign because I am sure people think I am lying. People walk by and hardly ever take a second look. I don't even feel like a human, almost like I am a piece of LA like the trashcan you pass and drop your five dollar coffee in, or the gum you spit on the floor. I am not the homeless guy who will beg you for money, I am not the homeless guy who really has a decent living, I am the homeless guy who let alcohol and drugs get the best of me. I am the homeless guy who goes to the Cathedral every other day and because of praying I lost the urge for drugs, yet still have my slip ups on alcohol. I am the homeless guy who has given up hope.”
Living on the streets in Downtown LA is awful, painful and scary. With so many homeless people it is hard for John to trust someone. “Constantly looking over your shoulder to see if someone is going to mug you at 3 a.m. is not the life I wanted.” His family is unaware of where he is, and he rather it be that way than realizing he was an addict and a failure. He is hopeless, and searching for the decent human who is willing to smile at him or even look him in the eye and say “hi”.
John Doe currently sleeps by Grand Park, spends his morning in the park before too many people get there. He knows he is not the most attractive man so he hides out in different parts of the city. He refuses to make his way back to Stockton because the worst thing than being homeless is being a disappointment to his family.
Joe Doe has been hopeless and homeless since 2001. “All I want is for people to know that every homeless person is not that same. I don't spend money on alcohol or drugs as soon as you give it to me. I don't have a BMW dropping me off on the corner. I don't believe in violence and I am not the homeless man who deserved this. I am the hopeless and homeless man who wants a sandwich and a shower. If you visit Downtown LA, come with a PB&J or water. That means so much more than $2.”
