I have been reading the book "Unglued" by Lysa TerKeurst. It is about how we are able to process emotions in a healthy way without coming unglued or stuffing our negative emotions inside. Dealing with my own emotions has been a life long struggle for me. When I try to share and I feel misunderstood or not heard, I am hurt and angry. Then, I either lash out or, since I've grown older, try to stuff those feelings way down deep. That only leads to me later exploding.
I love the people in my life fiercely, I think it's safe to say. Loving people fiercely leaves me vulnerable, and that's okay until I am faced with a flood of emotions I don't know how to deal with. In recent years, praying before I react has made a huge impact on how I handle myself. I'm still not the queen of serenity or anything, but I can see that praying has helped. It is very hard for me to pray to see the other person's side, but it really is worth it. I do want peace, and sometimes I think peace comes at the cost of me just keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes that is true, and sometimes it isn't. That's where asking God for wisdom and guidance comes into play. There are times that hard conversations need to take place, and that proves even more difficult if it's with a person who is also not good at handling their emotions. Life is messy.
I've read this verse in 2 Corinthians 10:5 before, but it is now a reality for me. It says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." The first line says that we demolish arguments. I have cared more about being right before than about peace with the ones I love. This verse clearly states that we are to demolish arguments. Then, it says we are to demolish every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. To me, that means lies from the enemy. We have a real enemy who desperately wants to destroy our relationships. He is the father of lies and will do anything he can to trip us up. Then, the last line is my favorite: "...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." Now that is just awesome. My negative thoughts can take me down to the gutter in a heartbeat. Christ hasn't called us to negative thinking. Actually, he has told us to set our minds on things above and on what is pure, lovely, and true. Truth is: I am loved by my Savior. I am a chosen child of God. I have been equipped with spiritual weapons to fight my enemy with, and I only have one enemy.
As Lysa TerKeurst says in her book, I am making imperfect progress. But I now have hope that I don't have to be a slave to my emotions. God has better for me, and He isn't done with me.
