Honest Bid Day Expectations

Honest Bid Day Expectations

Is bid day really the best day?

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If you know anyone in a sorority, like myself, you've probably heard them say, or seen an Instagram caption, "bid day, best day." However, as a new member is bid day really all it's cracked up to be?

Personally I really trust the recruitment process, but I also don't really want to ever go through recruitment again. I did it and it worked out amazingly for me and gave me some of my closest friends, but it's not an experience I would do again.

While you're rushing it's all leading up to the excitement that is bid day.

I didn't really know what to expect from bid day, but everyone was really hyping it up. By the time bid day was here I was honestly more excited to be done with recruitment than anything else.

As I patiently awaited the envelope telling me which house I was about to become apart of, there was a lot of nerves. Part of me still wasn't convinced I'd even get a bid, and it didn't help that after a couple hour delay I was the last person in my room to receive her envelope.

However, once I made it to the designated room for all my house's new member, the place where we all got our t-shirts before running over to the house, I was elated when I saw someone I knew.

Honestly, if I didn't see a friend there I think this day would have been very different.

Once we arrived at the house I was overwhelmed. There were so many new faces and I only recognized a few from recruitment, but there was still a part of me that felt like it all made sense. Yeah, I know very cheesy, but as the Philly fan in me says "Trust The Process" #TTP.

Anyways there was a lot of good food and music and cute decorations. Our bid day happened to fall on Super Bowl Sunday so I appreciated the fact it was football themed…but unfortunately all the decorations were blue and red, where was the black and green for the Eagles (who ended up winning…just saying).

I finally started to mingle and talk to some other people and felt like maybe this could work. Although, there was still a big part of me that was confused and overwhelmed. I only knew one other person here and the shy side of me wasn't really sure this was a good idea.

Not to mention, I didn't have any clue what to expect from a new member process, or really what type of commitment this house would be. Regardless, I knew there was a big part of me that was excited to find out. And the 100s of Instagram and Facebook request and a parting goodie-bag didn't hurt either.

Now to be fair, I've only experience bid day from the new member side.

The side where you don't know anyone, don't know what to wear and don't know what's happening. Now as an initiated sister I'm actually really excited for bid day. After two-weekend-long recruitment I know it's gonna be the perfect way to celebrate with my sisters. Not to mention as someone who wants to take a little this semester, I can't wait to meet all our new members.

I now know how much work goes into the other side as well. It's given me a different appreciation of the whole process, so it makes sense why ending it with a giant celebration is so special. Also, I have to admit I'm pretty excited for this year's bid day theme, it's going to be amazing.

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My Sisterhood Is Not Your Joke

Between stereotypes and laughing at our traditions, the teasing needs to stop.
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It doesn’t take a genius to realize that sororities are unlike any other organization. Each sorority is different, and every chapter has its own unique traditions. It is hard to understand why we do the things we do if you aren’t involved in Greek life. But because my sisterhood is different than your social group or service committee does not make it the brunt of your jokes.

Sorority girls are smart. We aren’t airheads who put our social lives before our grades. Most sororities require members to maintain a certain GPA. In some cases, girls who fall below a required academic standard have minor consequences to face. Sisters help each other study, attend class together, and encourage each other in academics. Many sorority girls go on to be successful in scientific fields, hold positions of authority in business endeavors, and impact lives of others no matter their profession.

I didn’t buy my friends nor am I in it for a resume builder. “Did you join a sorority so you can buy your friends because you can’t get them on your own?” This is my favorite. If I were in a sorority to buy my friends, my sisters would be a getting a whole lot back in terms of monetary compensation. As it turns out, you get so much more than money from a sorority. Because I joined a sisterhood, I have made my best friends. These girls will be there for the rest of college and hopefully the rest of my life. There is not enough money in the world that I could give them in return for their love and company. I also didn’t go through recruitment to build my resume. Yes, it definitely is a benefit to be a part of an organization that is nationally known in terms of service and leadership opportunities. But no, that’s not why I joined.

We don’t get drunk and hook up with guys every time we go to a party. You might think it’s funny to ask me every time I come home from a party how many shots I took or how many guys I made out with, but it’s not. Things like this happen at parties, but that’s just how college is. It’s not specific to Greek organizations. I have never been told so many times that underage drinking is not allowed than I have by my sisters. Also, not every party or social event is some huge rager with obscene amounts of drugs and alcohol. In reality, very few of them are. A lot of social events held across Greek communities are really casual and for the purpose of just getting to know each other.

‘Big’ and “Little” aren’t just cute nicknames. My Big is my mentor, my best friend, and my family. Yes, I will always call her Big. No, that doesn’t just mean she was assigned to me after I signed my bid card. She didn’t pull my name out of a hat one day and decide she liked me. We were paired together because our personalities matched and because we would help each other grow and become the best members of our chapter that we could be.

Yes, my letters are everything. I cannot count the number of times someone has made a joke about the hand signs sorority girls hold up in pictures, better known as “throwing what we know.” Yes, it’s silly, but it’s important. Throwing what we know is a way for each of us to make our mark and to remember the moments we’ve shared with our sisters. It reminds me that everywhere I go, I am representing my sisterhood and the values we uphold.

We keep the most important things a secret. Sorry, no matter how much you poke and prod, I am not going to tell you our initiation ritual. This is the most important moment of being a member of a sisterhood, and it isn’t to be shared with people who don’t appreciate it. Keeping these special moments safe within the sisterhood is a way that the members draw closer together. Rituals and traditions are why a lot of girls join and choose to stay in a sorority. It’s how each girl connects to her sisters.

You will never understand what it means to be a sorority unless you join one. I’m not saying to go and sign up for recruitment right now because it isn’t for everyone. It’s important however, to realize that just because we do things a little bit differently than you might or we have some habits you might find odd doesn’t mean we need to be your jokes. We are not a stereotype, each sister is different, and if you took the time to meet us and listen to us talk about how much we love Greek life, you will see us all a little differently.

Cover Image Credit: Her Campus

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Your Relationship With Your Sorority Is Like Any Relationship, You Have To Work At It

Just like with your best friend or your mom, the relationship with your sorority and sisters will have highs and lows, but that isn't always a bad thing.

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Bid day often feels like Christmas Day, only in the days beforehand, instead of staying up late wondering what Santa brought them, PNMs scurry from sorority house to sorority house trying to impress everyone with their accomplishments and best smiles.

Long, vocal chord straining days or even weeks of anticipation, anxiety and longing finally come to an end. You run home to a sorority and a new sisterhood. You're overwhelmed by the gifts, cheers and love.

You're so busy celebrating that there's no time to think until you're alone trying to scrub out all of the sparkles from your hair.

Then the thoughts start creeping in.

Am I happy I got a bid from this sorority? Would I feel better in another one? Are my new sisters really my type of people?

You start doubting everything Greek related and the next few days don't always help. One would like to think that from the second you join a sorority you become smothered by love and attention, but instead, sometimes it feels like nothing has changed since you became a sorority girl. Where did the magic go?

But then you find it. You find friends and get a big, and go to your first function. Soon you get wrapped up in wonderland.

Is that normal? It didn't feel so to me, but then I realized many of my sisters and other Greek women have felt the same way.

Being in a sorority isn't always glitter and T-shirts. Just like you don't always love your major or best friend, sometimes you'll distance yourself from your sisterhood.

Does that mean you're a bad sister, or that you should drop? Not necessarily. As in the saying "you have to be a friend to have a friend," you have to meet your sisters half way. Being active in your sorority will remind you why you fell in love with it in the first place.

You joined for a reason, you just have to remind yourself what that reason is. Go to events, serve with your philanthropy or just get coffee with a sister and see if that helps. Try something you've never done before. There may be a new best friend or favorite past time waiting to be found.

Don't forget your executive council is also there for a reason. They obviously love the sisterhood and want to help you. Talk about your concerns and see what can be done. Like I said above, many people also struggle with this.

At the end of the day, Greek Life isn't everything. Fulfill yourself in outside activities and friendships. Your happiness is more important than a title.

Don't beat yourself up if your relationship with your society feels like a rollercoaster. You're not alone, and there are some easy fixes you can make that will help get things back to normal.

You are surrounded by like-minded women who also share a passion and ambition you identify with. While you may not always be totally in love within, your sorority is there for you.

If you give to your sorority, it will give back to you.

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