It happens to the best of us- sometimes the only place we've ever known becomes a foreign land. It becomes a place we no longer recognize, long to be, or desire to know any longer. For me, the first time I ever felt that was around 12 years old. I longed to find a way out of a city that my heart no longer belonged in.
What do you do when your hometown no longer feels like home? What do you do when everyone you love has moved away or moved on?
For me, the answer is to leave.
I know it seems like running shouldn't be the answer, but how can I continue to live somewhere that causes me more pain and grief than love and happiness? How can I remain in a place where I no longer feel welcomed or accepted? Sometimes, I think I have the heart of a nomad, someone who can't stay put in the same place for too long.
I've lived in three different cities in my lifetime, and I love them all. However, there came a point in my life when I had to move on and move away. It doesn't mean that I love them any less. Things change, people change, and fresh starts are something that I crave. Every city that I've lived in has shaped me in unimaginable ways.
In the city that I was born in and lived for 14 years, I found my forever friends. I grew up around my family and my culture, I went to an amazing elementary and middle school, and I will always cherish the experiences that built me into the woman I am today.
In the city that I attended high school in, I found my faith. I found God in the people I knew and loved best. I found Him when I fell into a deep depression after the loss of my grandfather. I fell in love with my family, my heritage, and my culture.
In the city that I am currently living in, attending college in, and working in, I have found myself. I learned how to love myself and love others in a healthy way. I've found my passions and have figured out what I want for my life. I've grown up and have become an independent, hard-working, dedicated, and determined woman.
However, my desire to leave and move on has come back. With only about 9 months left until I graduate from college, I am looking into a new adventure. I might end up in the mountains of Colorado, by the East Coast in Maryland, or by the beach in my home state of Florida. I don't know where life will take me next, but I know that it's somewhere else.
Everyone that I've encountered throughout my life have shaped me in a special way. I know the friendships and relationships I have created throughout the last few years will thrive in the future, even if there is distance between us.
Life awaits. Adventure awaits. If you're meant to leave, just go.
