It wasn't the loss of a parent or a sibling, but a grandmother. Someone quite different. A pain that is felt quite differently. It doesn't feel like a sudden pain, like bricks falling on you, but more of a long lasting sting. A pain that is evidently there and seems to grow stronger day by day.
Rather than dwelling in the sadness of it all let me tell you a little bit about her.
She was soft, but not weak, fierce, but not scary. She was the perfect balance of a strong woman.
She was one of the most caring people I have ever met, even though I didn't go to India very often, every time I went she embraced me with loving arms. She didn't because she had to or because she was my grandmother but, because that was the type of person she was. Loving.
Nothing really scared her, a lizard on the wall, sending her son (my dad) all the way across the globe, easy, she thought. She was undefeatable and she had faith in this world and her family.
She made sure everyone was fed, and overfed, had somewhere to sleep, had a place to sit, even in her old age.
Even during her last days, even when she forgot things, she remembered small memories, like nicknames and my favorite things.
She lived a good life, a long one at that too.
Now she's gone, to a better place I hope. I place where she can meet her husband and watch over us. She can take a break now. She had worked all of her life, day in and day out, caring for people. Naturally, she got tired.
"We are all down here sending love; you don't have to worry too much about us anymore.
See you again
Love you Aaji,