If you’re reading this, it means you survived finals week! Congratulations! Throw your study guides to the wind and raise your essay-cramped fist in victory!
You made it, and now is your time to relax. But for many students, finals week is just a battle in the great war of the holiday season, because after finals, they must go home, and sometimes home is a battlefield far more treacherous than the classroom.
The Holiday season is centered around the glorification of family time, but if you come from a family that is at best dysfunctional then this time of year can be really isolating.
So if you are going home to a battlefield, take heart soldier, and keep these things in mind.
Firstly, your family's problems are not your fault.
From divorce to dysfunction, it’s sometimes easy to believe that you had a hand in creating your family’s problems but more often than not, the conflict had absolutely nothing to do with you. We don’t get to chose our family, and sometimes we just kind of get stuck in the middle of a bad situation, but it's not your fault.
It's also important to remember that in the midst of a hard situation, It’s okay to not be happy.
There is so much pressure this time of year to be “in the Christmas spirit”, to be happy. No one wants to be unhappy, especially not during “the most wonderful time of the year” but it can be unhealthy to act like everything's okay when it’s not. Be honest with yourself and with people close to you, and get help if you need it. Whether you’re going through dealing with the loss of a loved one, going home to a bad situation, or are struggling with depression, anxiety or even abuse, it is important to remember that it is okay to be honest with the people around you about how you’re hurting. If you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out, below are some resources that might be helpful to you or to a friend
For domestic abuse or violence: http://www.thehotline.org/
For eating disorders of any kind: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-...
For suicidal thoughts or feelings (also options available for the deaf and hard of hearing, and for spanish speakers): https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/#
If you are LGBT or questioning: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Don't be afraid to ask for help, don't feel like you're a burden or that no one will care because you're not and they will. I promise.
It is also important to note that churches across the nation often have open door policies and people to talk to, especially this time of year. A simple google search can provide more information about churches in your area.
Lastly, and maybe most difficultly, it's important to remember that there is still a lot of joy to be found, no matter what home looks like.
It could be in the snow, in the Christmas music on the radio, in the stupid jokes of your little brother or in the cup of coffee you have each morning before everyone is awake. Things might be rough at home, but there are little pieces of hope scattered throughout each day. Take your time to realize them, and appreciate them, and remember that it’s going to be okay, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for a very long time, but someday it will all be okay.
Merry Christmas.
