There comes a time in everyone’s life where they come to a crossroads. It could be caused by any number of things: a death in the family, a breakup, an argument, you lose your job, or sometimes you simply wake up in the morning and don’t like what you see in the mirror. It is inevitable that this will happen to all of us one day and sometimes the weight of it can almost crush you. I recently went through a life changing event myself and I have learned more about myself in these past few months than I ever knew. I hope people can read this and learn even the smallest nugget of information from me and my experiences.

First, let me give you a little background on me. I’m a 26-year-old professional who was born and raised in Maryland. I grew up in the White Marsh area and bounced around from place-to-place throughout my high school career. I spent a majority of my teenage and adult life in Columbia living with my grandfather and his wife. I was always active when I was younger. I was a two sport athlete up until my freshman year of high school. I loved sports and I was decent in school. However, at some point I lost my way and became lazy. I was never the most outgoing kid growing up but I turned into a recluse as a teenager. It could have been a multitude of bad childhood experiences that led me down this path but I got stuck in this funk for close to ten years. Sure I had some successes and good times along the way, but I never grew during those years and I lost a lot of important time. Worst thing was, I didn’t even realize how far I’d strayed until it was too late.

Naturally, I thought since I was young that I would have plenty of time to “adult”. Of course along the way I fell in love with a girl who was just as screwed up as I was and we were happy for a time. Then one day she realized that we weren’t going to have a future at the rate we were going and we parted ways. This is where I met my crossroads. I had let myself turn into a person that I never wanted, or thought I would be at 26. I lost the trust of a lot of people I cared about and I let down a girl who truly loved me. I’m not gonna lie to you…I didn’t think I could go on. I had no money, no place to live, nothing to my name and I was severely depressed. What does one do when it’s time to hit the reset button? Answer: work, sacrifice, fight, and fight some more.

First thing’s first, find somewhere to live. As reluctant as I was to move in with my mother, stepfather, and two younger brothers, I did. Not only because I had no other place to go, but it was time for a change of scenery. Next, how do I look myself in the mirror every morning and feel proud? It’s time to find a career. I filled out hundreds of applications and after a few weeks and a lot of effort, I had two jobs and was working my tail off. Story’s over right? Happily ever after? Not even close. I finally found the work ethic I once had as a young man, I was getting back in shape, I felt physically better, I had some money, so what was missing? The answer to that question came to me one night as I laid in bed alone just wishing someone would call me to distract me from my own sorrow. Listen carefully, as this is the moral of the story. I missed people. Not just the humans we pass by and say hello to on the street or at the mall. I’m talking about relationships. Getting to know people and letting them get to know you. Discovering that you’re not the only person in this world who faces your same challenges. Connecting to, laughing, and loving other people is an irreplaceable human experience.

Of course I’m a bit of a weird guy and an introvert so meeting new people and getting them to like me was super scary. I had no practice at it and I’m still not great at it so if you meet me cut me some slack please. But what I did find is that people are fascinating and beautiful in their own unique way and I loved learning about them. As I broke down my barriers, I started talking to people who I never would have spoken to in the past. People of all different ages, races, religions, beliefs, personalities; it didn’t matter to me. I found something interesting and beautiful about each and every one of them. In turn, they opened up to me and actually liked me for who I was! I never thought it could happen. I continue to this day, to keep working on building relationships because above all else: money, health, success, your friends will always be there and their support is stronger than anything else in this world.

I implore you to start building positive relationships today. Start right now! You never know when life can come crashing down on you but If you have people there to help soften the fall then you will be back on your feet and stronger than ever before you know it.

I’ll end with a dorky movie quote that has stuck in my nerdy brain for many years and has helped me when I get too down.

“Why do we fall master Wayne? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.” - Alfred