But let’s not fall.
I felt like I was in the flow or maybe not quite. I was in the middle of climbing up the rocks, because I had decided to take the more challenging route. One of my sneakers was dangling halfway off my right foot. My mind flashed back to half a mile earlier when we saw a sign that we shouldn’t wear sneakers to the hike and that people have died here before. At one point, I even stopped in mid-climb so that one of the guides could take a picture of me. Soon after he took the picture, I belatedly commented, “I don’t like this.”
Alex Honnold has no sense of trepidation when he climbs, but I do.
Even though I sometimes don’t remember what made me do certain things in the midst of it, just like that time I yelled “I hate you” at a friend who encouraged me to go on Zerogravity during the ride, I felt amazing after I did it. Here I was enjoying fall, albeit being a little out of my comfort zone. Then again, what better way to rejuvenate your soul than by connecting with nature?
For over a month now, I haven’t really spent enough time in nature. Maybe that’s what’s stressing me out. I went to school to learn about occupations (activities we occupy our time with) and how doing them enhances our well-being and gives meaning to our lives. Ironically, I have not been doing much for my own health. There are, of course, other issues that have been causing my anxiety to flare up, but I’d like to think that somehow the elements of nature can relieve me.
On the hike, I touched every crevice of the rocks I passed and pressed my palm to the trunk of the trees. My hands touched the dirt on the rocks that I passed on my trek uphill, and my nostrils took in the crisp air. The molecules in my body were whispering in elation, 'Yes. We enjoy this. Remember how you used to play as a child. Be in the moment.'
And the golden leaves, my favorite leaf color. I held one in my palm and thought of all the times that I’ve collected different colored leaves as a child. There’s something serene about watching the leaves fall from trees. It quietly reflects the season and yourself changing with time. Even when change happens, you see that the world becomes more beautiful.
Sometimes, we’re a little lost and weary but then come moments that make us realize why we live. For me, fall is that light tap on my shoulder. It’s an embrace of transitions. It’s a beacon that tells me everything will be alright.