After getting such positive feedback from my first article, I wanted to write something that would keep my momentum up. I thought of all the ideas I have stowed away in a little corner of my brain to write about in future weeks, but this idea could not escape me. My mother shared my article last week on her Facebook page and got many positive responses from her friends, and asked me what I was going to write about next. I shared this idea with her and she cautioned me that this might be too complicated of a subject to talk about. However, I feel like I have a lot to say about this subject in particular. This is not meant to be a taboo piece, and I am not trying to shove my beliefs onto anyone; this is merely meant to be my own stance and my own opinion. Today, I want to talk about the hijab, a universal symbol of Islam, and give some personal insight on it.
I have had many jobs in the last year, one of them being at a Biggby Coffee in Dearborn. Every night a group of elderly folk dubbed "The Coffee Club" come in. They sit around and have coffee and talk about just about everything until we would have to kick them out for the night. One night I was closing, and a member of The Coffee Club who I have never seen before came up to me as I was standing behind the counter to initiate conversation with me. He commented on my dark features and asked me if I was of Arab descent. I answered yes and that I was from Lebanon. He then asked if I was Muslim. With pride and a smile, I answered yes again. His next comment definitely caught me off guard and infuriated me. This man said to me, "Please never cover yourself and put on that scarf." I felt rage overtake me. How dare this man tell me how to live my life and how to follow my religion? As calmly but as sternly as I possibly could, I said, "The hijab is a symbol of my religion, and a woman puts it on when she has a spiritual connection with God. Not for a man or anyone else." The man was taken aback from my response and started fumbling with his words to try to save himself. He began rambling on about how he had Muslim neighbors and how he thought the religion worked. I could not understand what he was saying. To be completely honest, I did not care for what he had to say, anyway--I was much too angry.
From what I have seen in the media, there are some people who do not understand Islam as well as Muslims or those who live in concentrated Muslim communities. They believe that women wearing hijab is oppressive. That "forcing" a woman to cover herself is inhumane and that no hijabi wants that life for herself. Perhaps this is was the Coffee Club man's thought process. But this is simply not the case. Every hijabi that I have ever met wears her hijab because she wants to. No one made the decision for her, it was completely done on her own. Not one hijabi that I know of is oppressed because of her scarf. And frankly, telling me to not wear a scarf, to not participate in an essential part of my religion, is just as oppressive as forcing one on me.
As I mentioned last week, my parents never forced me to wear a hijab. In fact, my mother has always encouraged me to only do so when I feel I am ready. Wearing a hijab is a big step in a Muslim woman's life, and it is a big commitment. And so badly that night that the man at Biggby told me to never wear a hijab did I want to put one on out of spite. But I knew that it would not be right.
Like I told the member of The Coffee Club, putting on a hijab is meant to happen when a woman has an overwhelming spiritual connection with God. I do definitely want to wear a hijab someday but I do not think I am ready yet. Not too long ago, I expressed the fear that "what if I'm never ready?" to my mother; and her response was perfect and beautiful. She told me that, "You'll know, trust me, you will. You will feel an overwhelming love and desire to put one on for Allah and you will want it more than anything you have ever wanted. Your time will come, just be patient and seek Allah's guidance." After that conversation, I knew that my moment will have no age. I could have that moment of enlightenment tomorrow or 10 years from now or 30 years from now--me not wearing a hijab cannot and will not stop me from striving towards that connection and continuing my duties as a Muslim.
