High School... Just How We Always Imagined It
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High School... Just How We Always Imagined It

"High school? Bullsh-t. The cafeteria is called the Nutrition Center, people wear their letter jackets even when it's 98 degrees out. And why do they give out letter jackets to marching band? It's not a sport. We all know it."

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Some people would say that high school is the best four years of your life. Others, myself included, would argue that things could have gone a little better back then. In a perfect world, I'm sure high school would have pretty much gone the same for most of us: we'd be a part of the popular crowd, captain of the sports team, or lead in the school play; we would have perfect grades, summer internships, and we would wish for nothing. Unfortunately, this is not a movie, and we can't always get exactly what we wish for. That said, here's a little bit of valuable advice for all incoming freshman (you know, if this were a movie).


Spontaneous outbreaks of song and dance. Unbeknownst to me, you're actually way more likely to witness the drama club's newest performance in the cafeteria, as opposed to the main stage in the auditorium. Shocking, huh? You might be surprised to find out that every single day, people will break out into super spontaneous (and somehow, perfectly synchronized!?) song and dance. Sometimes in the cafeteria, sometimes in the hallways, and sometimes even in the gym; we don't know exactly how everyone seems to know exactly what words to say, but we do know one thing: we live for the dance numbers and songs, which are always somehow about the newest drama, taking place at that very moment.


Unlimited hallway time. Contrary to popular belief, passing period is actually forty five minutes long, and faculty encourages you to hangout with your friends at your lockers. Teachers attempt to inspire students to spend their time spreading details about this weekend's wild and crazy house party (at an insanely beautiful house that literally no one's parents could afford), and hearing the rumors that your least favorite teacher is about to spring a pop quiz on the class. Staff also motivates students to hold dramatic showdowns between friend groups, and to acknowledge the most popular of the school's cliques, with the most fitting of names (we all remember The Plastics, right?).


Group projects are only with your friends. Group projects are inevitable, but who can really complain when, even though your enemy will probably be in the mix, you're apt to get grouped with all of your friends and your crush. And it will definitely be for your English class. That's basically the only class you'll ever have to go to. And your teacher will be brand new; he'll be right out of college. And he'll be hot. And he'll write on a chalkboard, because those totally still exist.


High school has taught me many things: You almost always make friends in detention. Love triangles are always neatly resolved, Cinderella style, at your prom, which is so flawless that it literally changes your entire life. Seriously, prom queen is the highest honor ever, there will be a super cool band that will play their one (bizarrely popular) song, and there is a 100% chance that the punch will get spiked. The popular girls will offer you a once-in-a-lifetime makeover, which will miraculously make you popular. Money is not an issue... for anyone. Football rivalries are a BIG deal. You'll probably eat lunch in the bathroom at least once, but it will never be on food fight day. And last but not least, the dorky girl ALWAYS gets the guy- the hot guy. You know, the one who just broke up with his super hot head cheerleader girlfriend? Or maybe even that super hot new English teacher. We all know how it works. "You've got your freshman, ROTC guys, preps, JV jocks, Asian nerds, cool Asians, Varsity jocks, unfriendly black hotties, girls who eat their feelings, girls who don't eat anything, desperate wannabees, burnouts, sexually active band geeks... and the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst." Welcome to high school.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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