To Mom And Dad At High School Graduation: Thank You

To Mom And Dad At High School Graduation: Thank You

My parents aren't perfect, and that's what makes them incredible.
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Dear Mom and Dad,

Everyone is congratulating me for graduating high school, but it’s you who should be getting balloons and cards. I wouldn’t have made it to this point without your love, dedication, and occasional screams of frustration. Let’s be honest: I probably wouldn’t even wake up every morning without you yelling at me to get my butt out of bed OR ELSE.

Yep, I better make some major life adjustments before college or I’m screwed.

I know you’ll miss me as much as I’ll miss you. At least your water bill will be much lower without my hour-long showers -- but then again, any money you save on the water bill will just go towards my tuition (feeling the Bern yet?). If I forget to call, I’m sorry. You are the most important people in my life, and I’ll try to remember that when I’m intoxicated with first-semester freedom. If I do really stupid stuff, I’ll make sure it doesn’t show up on Facebook. I’ll probably stress you out at least once or twice over the next four years by switching my major to peace studies or art history, but don’t worry. I’ll switch it back.

We don’t see eye-to-eye on everything (and by “everything” I mean rap music), and no, you still haven’t convinced me that seven agonizing years of orchestra were necessary for the development of a decidedly unmusical person. But you’ve turned out to be right about pretty much everything else ever, so I’ll take your word for it.

I used to get angry at you for not being perfect, but now I know that this is exactly what makes you amazing. If you were incapable of doing wrong, parenting would be easy for you. But you are humans. Like the rest of humanity, you are constantly attacked with fear, doubt, worry, and confusion. And you have been selfless enough to hide that from me. You have put my interests before your own for the last seventeen years and counting.

I hope someday I can raise my own children as bravely and selflessly as you have raised me, but if I fail, at least they will have amazing grandparents to fall back on.

I am especially grateful that you taught me not only to love and honor God from a young age, but also to reasonably support my faith. We all reach a point where we must stop believing things because our parents tell us they are true, and start believing them because we are convinced of them ourselves. You gave me the tools I needed to do that.

I can never repay you for all of this. But you can be proud of who I’ve become. I know what is right and good and true, and I know that it is my duty to fight for those things. Everything you’ve poured into me is the fuel that will allow me to spread light over the darkness of this big, bad world.

Dad, Mom, thank you for everything. Thank you for the worry and schedules and budgeting that went into the opportunities I took for granted. Thank you for sticking to the rules you made even when I pushed back against them. Thank you for the 5-hour Calculus lessons that I didn’t appreciate at the time. Thank you for sheltering me from evil until I was ready to fight it. Thank you for the family writing contests, daily home-cooked meals, weekly hour-long drive to church, and everything else that has made being your daughter a privilege.

Can I make up for seventeen years of not saying “thank you” enough by repeating it over and over again now? Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I love you both so much.

Love,

Your daughter

Cover Image Credit: http://lovebeingretired.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Graduation-hats-flying1.jpg

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Your Wait time At Theme Parks Is Not Unfair, You're Just Impatient

Your perceived wait time is always going to be longer than your actual wait time if you can't take a minute to focus on something other than yourself.

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Toy Story Land at Disney's Hollywood Studios "unboxed" on June 30, 2018. My friend and I decided to brave the crowds on opening day. We got to the park around 7 AM only to find out that the park opened around 6 AM. Upon some more scrolling through multiple Disney Annual Passholder Facebook groups, we discovered that people were waiting outside the park as early as 1 AM.

We knew we'd be waiting in line for the bulk of the Toy Story Land unboxing day. There were four main lines in the new land: the line to enter the land; the line for Slinky Dog Dash, the new roller coaster; the line for Alien Spinning Saucers, the easier of the new rides in the land; Toy Story Mania, the (now old news) arcade-type ride; and the new quick-service restaurant, Woody's Lunchbox (complete with grilled cheese and "grown-up drinks").

Because we were so early, we did not have to wait in line to get into the land. We decided to ride Alien Spinning Saucers first. The posted wait time was 150 minutes, but my friend timed the line and we only waited for 50 minutes. Next, we tried to find the line for Slinky Dog Dash. After receiving conflicting answers, the runaround, and even an, "I don't know, good luck," from multiple Cast Members, we exited the land to find the beginning of the Slinky line. We were then told that there was only one line to enter the park that eventually broke off into the Slinky line. We were not about to wait to get back into the area we just left, so we got a Fastpass for Toy Story Mania that we didn't plan on using in order to be let into the land sooner. We still had to wait for our time, so we decided to get the exclusive Little Green Man alien popcorn bin—this took an entire hour. We then used our Fastpass to enter the land, found the Slinky line, and proceeded to wait for two and a half hours only for the ride to shut down due to rain. But we've come this far and rain was not about to stop us. We waited an hour, still in line and under a covered area, for the rain to stop. Then, we waited another hour and a half to get on the ride from there once it reopened (mainly because they prioritized people who missed their Fastpass time due to the rain). After that, we used the mobile order feature on the My Disney Experience app to skip part of the line at Woody's Lunchbox.

Did you know that there is actually a psychological science to waiting? In the hospitality industry, this science is the difference between "perceived wait" and "actual wait." A perceived wait is how long you feel like you are waiting, while the actual wait is, of course, the real and factual time you wait. There are eight things that affect the perceived wait time: unoccupied time feels longer than occupied time, pre-process waits feel longer than in-process waits, anxiety makes waits feel longer, uncertain waits are longer than certain waits, unexplained waits are longer than explained waits, unfair waits are longer than equitable waits, people will wait longer for more valuable service and solo waiting feels longer than group waiting.

Our perceived wait time for Alien Spinning Saucers was short because we expected it to be longer. Our wait for the popcorn seemed longer because it was unoccupied and unexplained. Our wait for the rain to stop so the ride could reopen seemed shorter because it was explained. Our wait between the ride reopening and getting on the coaster seemed longer because it felt unfair for Disney to let so many Fastpass holders through while more people waited through the rain. Our entire wait for Slinky Dog Dash seemed longer because we were not told the wait time in the beginning. Our wait for our food after placing a mobile order seemed shorter because it was an in-process wait. We also didn't mind wait long wait times for any of these experiences because they were new and we placed more value on them than other rides or restaurants at Disney. The people who arrived at 1 AM just added five hours to their perceived wait

Some non-theme park examples of this science of waiting in the hospitality industry would be waiting at a restaurant, movie theater, hotel, performance or even grocery store. When I went to see "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom," the power went out in the theater right as we arrived. Not only did we have to wait for it to come back and for them to reset the projectors, I had to wait in a bit of anxiety because the power outage spooked me. It was only a 30-minute wait but felt so much longer. At the quick-service restaurant where I work, we track the time from when the guest places their order to the time they receive their food. Guests in the drive-thru will complain about 10 or more minute waits, when our screens tell us they have only been waiting four or five minutes. Their actual wait was the four or five minutes that we track because this is when they first request our service, but their perceived wait begins the moment they pull into the parking lot and join the line because this is when they begin interacting with our business. While in line, they are experiencing pre-process wait times; after placing the order, they experience in-process wait times.

Establishments in the hospitality industry do what they can to cut down on guests' wait times. For example, theme parks offer services like Disney's Fastpass or Universal's Express pass in order to cut down the time waiting in lines so guests have more time to buy food and merchandise. Stores like Target or Wal-Mart offer self-checkout to give guests that in-process wait time. Movie theaters allow you to check in and get tickets on a mobile app and some quick-service restaurants let you place mobile or online orders. So why do people still get so bent out of shape about being forced to wait?

On Toy Story Land unboxing day, I witnessed a woman make a small scene about being forced to wait to exit the new land. Cast Members were regulating the flow of traffic in and out of the land due to the large crowd and the line that was in place to enter the land. Those exiting the land needed to wait while those entering moved forward from the line. Looking from the outside of the situation as I was, this all makes sense. However, the woman I saw may have felt that her wait was unfair or unexplained. She switched between her hands on her hips and her arms crossed, communicated with her body language that she was not happy. Her face was in a nasty scowl at those entering the land and the Cast Members in the area. She kept shaking her head at those in her group and when allowed to proceed out of the land, I could tell she was making snide comments about the wait.

At work, we sometimes run a double drive-thru in which team members with iPads will take orders outside and a sequencer will direct cars so that they stay in the correct order moving toward the window. In my experience as the sequencer, I will inform the drivers which car to follow, they will acknowledge me and then still proceed to dart in front of other cars just so they make it to the window maybe a whole minute sooner. Not only is this rude, but it puts this car and the cars around them at risk of receiving the wrong food because they are now out of order. We catch these instances more often than not, but it still adds stress and makes the other guests upset. Perhaps these guests feel like their wait is also unfair or unexplained, but if they look at the situation from the outside or from the restaurant's perspective, they would understand why they need to follow the blue Toyota.

The truth of the matter is that your perceived wait time is always going to be longer than your actual wait time if you can't take a minute to focus on something other than yourself. We all want instant gratification, I get it. But in reality, we have to wait for some things. It takes time to prepare a meal. It takes time to experience a ride at a theme park that everyone else wants to go on. It takes time to ring up groceries. It takes patience to live in this world.

So next time you find yourself waiting, take a minute to remember the difference between perceived and actual wait times. Think about the eight aspects of waiting that affect your perceived wait. Do what you can to realize why you are waiting or keep yourself occupied in this wait. Don't be impatient. That's no way to live your life.

Cover Image Credit:

Aranxa Esteve

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Why can't France's World Cup Win Be An African Victory, Too?

After France's World Cup Win, The Daily Show host Trevor Noah responds to French Ambassador's rebuttal concerning the identity of African players on the team. And as an African-American, I couldn't help but agree.

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Last week signaled the end of the world's (arguably) most favorite sporting event, the World Cup. France came home with a stunning 4-2 win, the first in 20 years of the country's World Cup history. While recapping the finest moments of their victory, I couldn't help but notice that more than half of France's team players were people of color.

With comments like "Congratulations Africa" and "Victory for the African nation of France," it seems like the world noticed the team's obvious diversity as well. In fact, 15 out of the 23 players on the team were of African descent. That's more than half of the entire team. Players like Pogba and Mbappe are the children of African immigrants from countries like the Democratic Republic of Congo, Cameroon and Guinea just to name a few.

While France's diverse talent definitely played in their favor, a recent joke from comedian and The Daily Show host Trevor Noah sparked controversy with the French ambassador to the U.S. When Noah said, "Africa won the world cup," the French ambassador took to Twitter in disgust for the comment because it seemed to deny the players their "Frenchness" simply due to their African heritage.

Noah's response to the criticism offered a different perspective on the issue.

In short, he pointed out that by him highlighting the Africanness of these players, why should that diminish their Frenchness? I mean, why can't they be both?

Even better, when do countries choose to claim immigrants as citizens?

Noah points to the African immigrant who literally climbed a building to rescue an infant; he was immediately granted citizenship and referred to as a great Frenchman. But when there are robberies or unsavory events caused by people of African descent, the media is quick to call them "African immigrants" no matter how long they've lived in Europe.

If you look at the African countries from which these players originate from, you can't help but notice that they were colonized by the French. Noah refers to this "diverse background" as a direct reflection of France's "colonialism" which is a fact that ultimately cannot be denied.

It's easy to pin people by the color of their skin or their last names rather than the country they call home. I've noticed that some countries do pick and choose when to call immigrants "citizens" and vice versa. In reality, we assume nationalities when we move to a country and possess both as a part of our identity. No matter what you choose to call them, when the sons of these individuals are bringing home the world's greatest trophy, you can't help but feel national pride. Even as a Nigerian-American, I, too, feel like the African continent has experienced a victory through the players of France.

So maybe, in a way, Africa did win the World Cup and so did France.

There's no denying that France is quickly becoming a melting pot of people, cultures and ideas. Therefore, we must respect and acknowledge the duality of a person's identity. We can't pick a side when it's convenient, but we can recognize both when we succeed.

Cover Image Credit:

scontent-iad3-1.cdninstagram.com

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