I'm Hiding Behind My Extroversion
Politics and Activism

I'm The Girl Who Hides Behind Her Extroversion—And I've Learned Vulnerability Makes Us Stronger

"To share your weakness is to be vulnerable. To make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength." - Crissi Jami

138
I'm The Girl Who Hides Behind Her Extroversion—And I've Learned Vulnerability Makes Us Stronger
Delaney Huntoon

Anyone who knows me can, without a second thought, call me the talker of the group. There's something about being around a group of people that exhilarates me and gets my blood flowing. To a lot of my friends, that makes absolutely no sense, but to me, I don't know any other way of living. That being said, it leads to a life that is hectic and chaotic, and a lot of times jam-packed.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking. How could I love being an extrovert so much, yet feel as if I'm hiding behind it? Well, if I'm quite honest, what I'm hiding isn't my personality — it's my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. I spend so much of my time around other people, yet all too often I find myself hiding my fears behind a well-placed dad joke or a story that captivates all of those around me.

I don't know why I feel I need to do this, save face so to speak. The people I'm conversing with on a daily basis confide in me and love and care for me, so why can't I find it within me to let them in the same way? Maybe it has to do with my deep-rooted insecurities and not wanting anyone to truly see how much I'm hurting. Or maybe it is that I find myself putting others above myself and my problems become irrelevant in comparison. Either way, I'm hiding all of my stress and issues behind a wall of loud laughter and friendly smiles.

I think there's a part of me that assumes that because my weekly calendar is typically packed full of meals with friends, meetings, and all of the other stereotypical collegiate activities. I'm supposed to have it all figured out, or at least appear to. The irony in that, though, is that I spend a significant portion of my time surrounded by a community that realizes and accepts that I am far from having it all together, yet I still refuse to open up to them about it. Don't get me wrong, I will every now and again lean on some of my friends and give them a glimpse into the chaos that is my inner emotions, but it is a very rare occasion that I full on the breakdown and let all of my issues out to anyone.

It's as if the emotional, vulnerable side of me is an introvert and sits silently on the sidelines while my more extroverted outer exterior takes the lead in day to day conversations.

There are sometimes when being the girl hiding behind her extroversion is exhausting. Not because I don't love and thrive off of the conversations I'm having with the others, but because all too often I shove my problems to the side, bottling them up while I try to take on everyone else's problems as well. Everyone has an emotional baggage capacity, and my inability to confide in people leads this capacity to already be stretched thin.

All that being said, if this summer taught me one thing it's that I can't continue being this girl. I can't continue behind being the resident extrovert that cares more for others than themselves and refuses let others care for them the same way. That doesn't mean I will stop caring for people, that's so far from the solution. If anything, I should care for people better because I've learned that caring for others means that you also have to let others care for you. That means opening up to those that are close to me and letting them in on the burdens that are weighing down on me.

I'm learning that vulnerability isn't a weakness. If anything, it's one of our greatest strengths. When we are able to step out from hiding behind this outward persona we put on for others, hoping that they won't see the cracks, deeper friendships are forged through bearing each other's burdens and loving each other in spite of them.

So to whoever is reading this, step out from behind the shield that you put on for those around you and let your vulnerability become one of your greatest strengths. Let's learn how to embark on this crazy adventure called life together and remember that no matter how alone we feel in our worries and problems there is always someone out there who is going to be there for us. Let's start confiding in each other and bearing each other's burdens. Let's learn to love each other well. Let's be vulnerable with each other!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

7 Things You Need To Know About Our NEW Bachelorette, Tayshia Adams

Could THIS be the most dramatic season in "Bachelorette" history?

Bombshell news coming from Bachelor Nation today, Tayshia Adams is replacing Clare Crawley as the bachelorette!

Rumor has it that Clare found her person early on in the process and did not want to continue with the process of leading other men on throughout the season.

Keep Reading... Show less

The NBA is back, and for basketball fans, like myself, it has been the BEST news we have heard since COVID-19 shutdown play indefinitely. I mean, come on, we need to see if James Harden can once again perform so well he has back-to-back 50 point games, Kawhi can lead another team to the championship title, and whether Giannis is going to be back-to-back MVP... among like 500 other things running through our heads!

In the midst of all of the amazing statistics and records that these players are breaking, though, we also just love the NBA because well, there are some pretty good looking guys out there. Here are the 19 hottest NBA players (in no particular order) you would totally let slam dunk on you now that the NBA has returned.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Everything You Need To Know About Macronutrients, Because A Diet Should Be More Than Calories

Pay attention to what you're eating, not just how much you're eating.

Plenty of people are familiar with the "calories in, calories out" (CICO) method of dieting which can be used for losing, gaining, or maintaining weight. This method relies on calculating a person's total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) to ensure that they are not overeating or undereating to achieve their desired weight. TDEE considers a person's height, weight, age, gender, and level of activity to determine what their caloric intake should be — some calculators can factor in body fat percentage as well. When I used a TDEE calculator online, it said that my TDEE would be 1,990 calories if I was trying to maintain my weight, but are all calories created equal? I'd argue that they're not.

It might seem obvious to some of you that 1,990 calories of macaroni and cheese are not healthy at all compared to 1,990 calories of varied foods (fruit, veggies, meat, bread, etc.).

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

Just Because You're Asked To Be In A Wedding, Doesn't Always Mean You Should Say Yes

If you can't invest time, money, and YOURSELF, maybe say no to the offer for the bride's sake!

Being in a wedding is a really big commitment. I personally think if you've never been in one before, you don't understand the time, money, and energy that goes into being a part of it.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Though as a little girl, I had the silkiest, softest hair that would get compliments everywhere I went, since I turned about thirteen I've since had coarse, dry hair no amount of deep conditioning masks or sulfate-free shampoo could fix.

- I started using the Raincry's Condition Boar Bristle Brush several months ago, and while I noticed that my hair had been softer, silkier, and shinier than it had ever been, I didn't make the connection because I never thought a simple hairbrush could make any difference in my hair texture.

- I will be the first to admit that I thought it was ridiculous to spend nearly a hundred dollars on a hairbrush, but this one eliminates the need for me to use any heat tools or styling products on it.

- I put some oil or a serum in my hair when it's wet, brush my hair with the boar bristle brush once it's dry, and end up with the lowest maintenance, shiniest hair I've had since I was 8 years old.

@raincrybeauty

Keep Reading... Show less
YouTube

Bingeing a romantic comedy is always a good idea, and during this pandemic, these movies bring us one of the only elements of romance we can get. Through all the break-ups, obstacles, and struggles in our love lives, romantic comedies have always been there to make us laugh and keep us company while we cry.

While we love these movies for the beyond gorgeous male love interests, the female protagonists are still the ones we always remember. Although rom-coms are far from reality, it is always fun to imagine what our life would be like if a cinematic studio was behind our love life. So what does your favorite romantic comedies say about your dream guy?

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you're in an unhealthy relationship currently, you know someone who is, or you just want to have these numbers saved just in case it could one day save someone's life (if not your own), this article is for you. Here are three numbers to save in your contacts ASAP so you can always be safe, both physically and mentally, in every relationship.

Keep Reading... Show less

As any poor college student, a little kick of caffeine for less than a dollar has always sounded great to me. So, naturally, AriZona Iced Tea has been a go-to for as long as I can remember.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Dear Closeted Latina,

You were never alone.

Remember how the Latin world got rocked when Ricky Martin came out?

Keep Reading... Show less

If you're anything like me, you're probably anxious about going back to college. The uncertainty of nearly everything is stressful and makes it difficult to prepare for going back to campus. Take it one step at a time and remain calm! If nothing else, take a look at this list of six essentials for living on campus during the COVID-19 pandemic! You got this!

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments