Am I stoned or is #heterosexualprideday actually trending? OK, I’m a little stoned. Actually, a lot stoned. LOL. But for real guys, what the hell?

Heterosexuality does not need a pride day. While all sexualities should be equally appraised and accepted, I just don’t think heterosexuals are in need of that extra boost of confidence from a day dedicated to them with parades, Snapchat filters, and national recognition.

Camp counselors, hear me out. You know when a new camper is really homesick so you pay a lot of attention to them, but then the other campers who’ve been there forever get upset because they’re not getting special treatment? But the reason you’re not giving them special treatment is because they’ve been going to camp as best friends for the past five years and don’t need your comfort? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. In this scenario the homesick camper is Gay Pride Day, the jealous campers are Heterosexual Pride Day, and the counselor is Equality. Heterosexuals don’t need no cheering up, y’all.

I FaceTimed my straight friend what she thought about the hashtag:

Me: Hey dude, did you see that #heterosexualprideday is trending?

Kathryn: No dude, I just woke up.

Me: Well, what do you think about it?

Kathryn: Um, I think that it’s…pride day.

Me: You’re cutting out dude, I missed the most pivotal part of your response, can you repeat it?

Kathryn: I think it’s like, um… white pride day? It’s like, unnecessary.

Me: OK, thanks dude, I’m gonna send you this when I’m done.

Kathryn: Okay, bye dude.

Then, I called my sassy, gay friend Matt who replied to my tweet about the hashtag.

I asked him what he thought about the hashtag. He laughed and said, “I mean, if I were straight I would be proud too.”

“I don’t think it’s offensive. I mean, I also eat Chick-fil-A so I’m not one of those gays. I don’t get offended easily,” he said.”If people wanna be super out, and super gay, then they should! And if people wanna have hashtag on heterosexual pride day, Mazal Tov. I mean, I think it’s kind of rude, but I’m not gonna be upset about it,” he said.

Matt thinks that this could be offensive to members of the gay community who were discriminated against and abused for their sexuality.

“I was never assaulted as a kid. I mean, a lot of gay people have crazy pasts, dark pasts. Like their friend beat them or up, or their family hit them. I’ve never had any of that, so I think I just have stronger skin than most,” he said.

Basically the hashtag is sensitive if you make it sensitive, which many people are, but with good reason! Heterosexuals are at the top of of the sexuality food chain and they don’t need to boost their ego while the other sexualities have a lot of catching up to do.

People are comparing the hashtag to the next worst thing (or probably the worst first thing), if #WhitePrideDay started tending.

Despite the outrage from social media users, Matt still doesn’t think Heterosexual Pride Day is a big deal.

“I just wouldn’t want someone asking why I get a Gay Pride Day, ya know?” he said.

I’m not sure if this trending hashtag has homophobic roots, or heterosexuals were actually just inspired by the recent Pride Day parades, and wanted to celebrate their sexuality as well. Whatever the intentions, I just don’t feel proud to be straight today.