I was born into this world a little differently. From early on in my childhood, I knew I saw things differently from everyone else. But I didn’t understand it. For the majority of my childhood, I felt like an outcast, a freak, an alien…just a misfit. Although I felt this way, part of me liked it and wanted to feed off of it, but I still didn’t get it.

I would think things, and try to communicate them to other people, but I could never get it out just right. And then people would look at me funny. I knew in my head what I wanted to say, but I just couldn’t say it. I would feel things, powerful things, and I would try to communicate them to other people, but no one felt the same, and they couldn’t understand. I knew I was different, I just wished someone understood me.

I was brought up like any other average kid, playing sports, joining clubs, trying new things, but it was never enough. I hated the education system. Why didn’t anyone ever teach us how to think, I mean really think? Why didn’t anyone ever teach us about what life is really like, and how to survive out there? And how to LOVE ourselves and one another? It was a great big world out there, but I would have never known it. Instead, I was being forced into learning things like the Pythagorean Theorem. What is that doing for me? I didn’t get any of it, and then they blamed me and said I should drop to a lower class. No, that stuff just wasn’t important, but they didn’t get it. I was sheltered from the world, my mind felt like a caged tiger, trying to escape.

I will say this, thank you, Mom & Dad, for teaching me how to have faith and believe, because that may just be the most important thing I’ll ever keep.

I learned the term “outcast” in high school. Because if there’s one place that will make you feel like a complete weirdo...welcome to high school! I lost myself there, hit rock bottom if you will, I felt things so deeply but I had no outlet for these feelings. I didn’t know how to handle the things going through my head and it felt like I was alone in a crowded room. All these people and no one could honestly tell me “I get it.” Seems like a good reason for someone to go mad, huh? How did I make it through high school? Like any other mad person, therapy I guess? But that still left many unanswered questions. Really, no one else can relate to me? You really don’t see things differently? Ok, still just me.

Years went on, still an outcast, but I trusted it. I knew I was different for a reason, a good reason. I knew it was some sort of God-given gift, I just couldn’t quite figure it out yet. Then, in a deep dark place, I found some things I could relate to, Eminem, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy. Bands and rappers; well their lyrics spoke to me and then I was like “this makes sense.” And I was comforted. I was inspired to write like this, for the people like me, the ones left out, the ones who see things differently than the rest of the world.

The education system had taught me the only time to write was a book report on a book I didn’t want to read. Fuck that. I wanted to write beautiful poetry and stories that made people feel something. I wanted to give the misfits and the freak shows an outlet. Somewhere they could go and say “you get it, thank you for getting it.” There may only be a few people in my life who have the same thought process that I do, but those few people mean more to me than anyone else in the world.

I didn’t understand why I felt such strong emotions as a child, “What did I do to deserve this pain?” One day I realized that if I didn’t feel things so deeply, I wouldn’t be able to do great things. All the greats started out as the “freaks” and that’s what made them so different from anyone else. I am so grateful to feel these things now, I call myself an artist, and an innovator, and a creator. Because I was blessed with a God-given gift, that I can’t explain to just anyone, you either have it or you don’t.

So here's to the freak shows, I want you to understand that you were born different from the rest for a reason, and you might not get it now, but the best advice I could give you is to turn your pain into art, and from that will come great things. Don’t let the basics get you down, your soul is a beautiful garden waiting to be watered. You will find your outlet if you keep looking; always believe there is something out there for you. Trust the process, and keep on rejoicing in the land of the misfits.