Hello home, it hasn't been long, but I miss you. I've been gone for two months and it seems forever long, but a visit is coming soon.

Home is the place where I feel the most me. Here at school—I'm a different person. Don't get me wrong I like both versions, but the one sitting on my porch watching the cars drive by, she is happier. The one who gets to see her mom each day, she smiles more.

Here is the place where I try the best I can and do the most, but the weight keeps coming down on me. I go to my classes, turn in assignments, and get closer to where I want to go.

The future is where I'm headed, but here isn't where I want to be.

Home can't teach me how to be a teacher, and I have friends here and I sure will miss them, but the version of me from home is getting lost. I need to become her again before I forget who she is. I don't want to become someone I no longer like.

I'd like to be at home with my dog curled nearby. Not here where my shoes are the only thing at my bedside. I'd like to be at home where I know the roads and going anywhere is as easy as talking. Not here where the roads are a never-ending maze of unfamiliarity that gets me lost and frustrated and feeling like I should stay in my room—isolated.

At home I can bask in the sun outside with no one else around me. Privacy is footsteps away.

Here to go outside means seeing hoards of unfamiliar faces. Privacy is a luxury you must pay extra for.

I want to live a life closer to home. I want the endless opportunities of being alone or with someone. I want to throw my flip flops away and be free to shower with my bare feet.

The process of living here is exhausting. You must do things you don't want to do and being recognized for your effort is something you only hear once a semester, through email nonetheless. At home, the smallest accomplishment is a celebration or a high five.

Home is a phone call away they say, but that phone call will not smell like my bed. That phone call will not hug me or hold me the way only family can. That phone call won't bring me any closer to the people and house that feel thousands of miles away.

I'm homesick. Thank goodness for school breaks. Spring is far away, but spring break is days away and soon I'll be at home.

I will sit on my porch, sleep in my bed, cuddle my pet, and get my feet wet. I'll visit old friends, cook some food for family, and spend all of my time there celebrating the opportunity to exist as the version of me I prefer.