“Hello God, are You Really There?”

This is the question I always ask myself whenever I am facing a difficult situation in my life. God appears in all shapes and forms, or may not even appear to some. That is the beauty of faith, it is diverse—it is what you make out of it that makes it worth living. Some people never fully feel like they are a part of God’s presence. Whatever form of religion you believe in – or do not believe in – the question of God’s presence comes to mind.

Judy Blume’s novel “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” comes to mind whenever I am having questioning if God really is there. In times of struggle, I reach out to God for help and guidance. Blume’s protagonist goes through the same process as she finds out more about God and herself as she transitions into an older teenager. I connect well with this novel since I read it at a time when I was unsure if God really was there for me. In her novel, Blume focused on the reality teens face when they are confused, stressed, or annoyed. Margaret has various questions about what it means to be a teenager and she talks to God throughout the course of the novel. God is there for us always. I felt that I could connect with Blume’s character because she was wondering how God can let certain things happen to her.

When my grandmother died of cancer in 2010, I was unsure of where to turn. I did not understand how someone I loved so much could go through such hell with treatment and not make it out alive. I was crushed when I found out the news. She gave her all in treatment and was the most uplifting individual I have ever known. When I went into the hospital room to see her, she would sing or show me that enchanting smile of hers. I did not know what to do or say to her so she made me feel better when I knew I was supposed to help her feel better. My grandmother was a dedicated grandmother and even when she was not at her best, she still placed priority of others over herself.

It might sound weird to say that you question God, but I feel that almost everyone goes through an internal quest of figuring out if spirituality is “real” or not to them. It is often through a process of trial and error. It takes work to gain a sense of your own spirituality and beliefs.

I was so upset that my grandmother had to go through the torture of cancer with a slim chance of survival. After she passed, I got to thinking that she died because I was not a good enough granddaughter, so I blamed myself. It sounds silly, but the process of grieving involves blaming yourself. I know I was not the reason for her death because I had no control over the situation. Then, through much soul searching, I realized that it was her time to go and she was no longer suffering anymore. She was finally at peace.

I know God had a better plan for her. He always has a better plan. It just takes time to let that hard truth sink in and continue to move forward. It is a hard metaphorical pill to swallow because accepting that someone is gone is one of the most painful experiences that one can through. And, unfortunately, I will continue to go through these rough patches throughout life, especially whenever I lose someone near and dear to my heart. Death is inevitable. It happens to all living things. You have to accept it and continue moving forward. Life is short and it is better to live your life to the fullest instead of worrying about something in the past that you cannot change.

Judy Blume’s novel helped me rekindle my relationship with God. I have lost several loved ones in my life and it was hard for me to overcome my sorrow in order to move forward. Though it was not easy, my faith in God has helped me move forward. I know my loved ones are in a better place and I know that I have the opportunity to seem them again one day.