February 2, 2017

Sam and Rebekah,

Next month will be a very important milestone for me. February 2016 signifies what I thought was the end of everything. I had taken a huge gamble after getting my heart broken, only to have it broken again. I was frightened. I felt stupid. I felt used. I felt alone and broken. I was literally praying for a way out. My emotional state plummeted over the next few months, and I feared taking another big leap. I decided to go back to school to pursue a degree in writing. I remember very candidly telling people around me that I didn't know if I was sober when I made the decision. And my very honest answer was that it seemed to be such an outlandish decision that I doubted it was one I made while in the right frame of mind.

In my quest to get my life on track I had begun to feel very lonely, because I saw that the company I used to keep wasn't really the best influence on me. I had left my parents hoping to never return to their couch again, but I did. I was just going through the motions, eating, sleeping, and doing school work.

I almost didn't join the team, but I figured it was something to do at the time, and if I didn't want to I would quit. The first couple weeks were rough, literary theory made me feel like I had to scramble to get things done, but I had a lot of support through the class by communicating with other on our team.

I found myself spending more and more time taking part in discussions, and laughing and learning with the rest of my teammates. Everyone here has become like family to me. We help each other through hard times, and laugh and cheer each other on when things are good.

It is the enormous amounts of love and kindness that make our team special. We're more than just classmates. We’re more than co-workers, we're friends. We talk about homework, graduation, life goals, sometimes we even talk about our favorite flavor of sodas.

Other times our conversations take a munch more somber tone. We discussed the heartaches which we have had to endure in our lives, as well as our fears, our dreams, and our losses. You have all comforted my when my childhood pet became gravely ill. This meant more than I can say.

One piece that was particularly difficult for me to write detailed the painful struggle that I had to endure as I made the decision to improve my life. This piece was difficult because it was exposed in a way that I didn't want to be. But, thanks to your support and encouragement I was able to publish the piece. It ended up being very special in more ways than one. Opening up about my disability, and the struggles that I face as a result of that, were relevant to the life of another member on our team.

I discovered that another one of our teammates has a similar life experience. This makes me feel less alone. That's very important to someone when they often feel there is something that's so far apart from others.

Another important milestone was when I came to the realization that I felt strong enough to be alone. Samantha had given me a great deal of encouragement to publish an open letter pertaining to a failed relationship. I found that I was given praise for writing it well, along with encouragement to publish it in the open once again.

This team has done so much more for me than just provide me with artistic freedom and given me something to put on or resume. You have given me the confidence to pursue my dream, as well as a safe place to vent frustration and fears that we all face.

If you take nothing else from this letter, please remember you're not alone and you never will be. The love and support that you have shown me is something that I will extend. Anytime you need a friend or moral support, you have us to rely on.

My heart is heavy today,

But heavy things make us stronger,

And with heartache comes lessons,

Have faith, remember that you’re amazing.

Love Always,