To the first person I ever loved,
Years ago I never would have imagined things to have ended the way they did. I remember meeting you for the first time and being very comfortable. I always laughed and smiled when you were around.
Our first date, you showed up 15 minutes early, because you were so nervous. I, of course, was not ready.
Our first kiss was as corny as you can imagine. Despite the tragic event of losing my wallet, that day still remains close to my heart.
I was so nervous to introduce you to my family because you were so important to me. I wanted them to love you as much as I did, and of course, they did. My mother loved how kind and polite you were, my dad loved how you were a gentleman. My little sister joked and threatened to grill you if you ever hurt me.
But, that’s exactly what you did, you hurt me.
I reminisce about the good times, but that doesn’t block out the bad. We fought, as every couple does. Regardless, nothing could ever make me forget how I felt the day we broke up, the first time. I felt such a real pain in my heart, not just sadness, but physical agony. I didn’t think heartbreak would destroy me like it did. That day, as I cried in the shower, I could feel my heart break. That day, you went over to her house. The girl you swore never meant anything to you became my replacement.
A few days later we got back together, but your secret couldn’t stay secret for much longer.
Our relationship was built on lies and jealousy. The trust was gone and so was the love.
We tried desperately to put back the broken pieces, but we just couldn’t. The hardest thing I ever had to do was let you go.
Since then I’ve had boyfriends and other people come and go. I’ve had other people break my heart and make me hate the world. Nothing compared the how you made me feel.
To my first everything, I want to thank you for all the times we shared that I will always hold dear to my heart. I want to say I hate you for hurting me the way you did, but I can’t. I have memories that I hold dear to my heart and I have lessons I’ve learned. You taught me that not everybody is true, that people will lie and break your heart. You taught me to trust myself, you taught me to love myself. I lost myself in you, but I learned it cannot be a “you and I” but a “you” and “I”. You showed me that my friends will always be there, even when you aren’t.
Most importantly, you taught me that love shouldn’t be painful. Love should be sweet and easy. When you meet the one you’ll know they are worth fighting for, but love shouldn’t make you lose faith in yourself.
If they lie, they don’t love you.
If they cheat, they don’t love you.
If they make you feel like any less than you are worth, they do not love you.
But, it is okay. You are one broken heart closer to finding the one.