No matter where you are vacationing, you will always hear those touristy people talking about how much they enjoy their where they are, what they're doing, or how they look doing it (you may be one of these people). But, some things people say probably mean something totally different from whats actually coming out of their mouths...
- “I love the beach, it's my favorite!” You probably hear this phrase on a majority of the vacations you go on. In reality, the meaning behind this phrase is probably just “wow, I hope these sunglasses hide how creepily I'm staring at every half naked person here.”
- “Let’s go swimming!” Whether it's at the beach, in the pool, in a hot tub, or some other weird place you can swim (like idk a lagoon or something), this phrase really just means “Well, I hope we don't get sick of swimming considering it's the only thing to do here.”
- “Who brought the sunscreen?” aka - who wasn't arrogant enough to assume that someone else would bring sunscreen that they would just use?
- “Does this floppy hat look good on me?” Sorry honey, chances are the answer to that question is no. You probably asked your friend (that you already know will tell you what you want to hear) this question, already knowing you looked stupid. But, you still wear the oversized floppy piece of straw because 90 percent of the middle aged women there with you are wearing one too.
- “Who wants breakfast cocktails?” OR “Who wants to get hammered before 11:30, pass out drunk on the beach, and have to spend the rest of vacation really sunburnt and sad?”
- “Wow the people here are so friendly!” Well if you’re from somewhere like Chicago or New York City, anywhere you go the people are going to be friendlier than they were at home. But, this phrase really just means “I came to this foreign place with the predisposed idea that people were probably going to hate me and rob me of everything I have, so it's really nice that that’s not happening!”
- “Let’s go on that secret beach the cab driver told us about!” Now, this one could mean two different things. One, you believe anything a cab driver tells you. And two, that the beach you are going to is just a smaller, dirtier beach that only idiots go to.
- “OMG SKYDIVING!” “OMG LET’S PAY AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF MONEY TO FACE DEATH!”
- “I'm homesick…” You’re definitely not home sick. You could honestly easily live at this nice resort on the nice beach with nice food and people forever! Truthfully, you’re just really annoyed by the cultural diversity of the place you’re in.
- “I seriously can't wait to go home and see everyone!” Okay, you might have sent a postcard from the beautiful place you are vacationing in, but in reality that fancy postcard was just meant to make the recipients jealous. Be honest, you really just can't wait to go home and get wifi so you can go on all social media without using all your data.
