As the fall semester approaches, I find myself getting excited for my return to campus. Before each new marking period I usually make a mental checklist of the things I want to accomplish in order to better articulate my goals for the new semester.
Before I was in college, people used to warn me of how quickly time passes there and how, before I knew it, I would be graduating. I’m aware of how cliché this statement is, but boy is it true. I’m going into my junior year, and I cannot believe how fast time has gone. I can’t help but feel like my college experience is speeding by me and, because of that, I always feel like I need to do more and improve myself in order to fully suck the life and experiences out of the limited time I have.
Before each semester I tell myself: THIS is the semester. This is the semester that I really prioritize, devote hours each day to studying, and get that dream GPA.This is the semester I go to the gym five times a week in order to get that dream body. This is the semester that I don’t let myself spend money on things I don’t need. This is the semester that I become involved in more clubs and more activities in order to boost my extracurricular resume. The list goes on and on.
I am only now realizing that the pressure placed on myself to return to school and make this semester, and this year, the absolute BEST year ever is not conducive to actually achieving such a thing. I turn my wishes and dreams into a burden, instead of drawing strength and motivation from them. Making back-to-school resolutions is the same type of forced change that a New Year’s resolution hopes to elicit.
Why place a pressure on myself to hit some benchmark and achieve some goal, when it is that exact pressure that ends up blocking my progress. My growth shouldn’t be a burden, it shouldn’t be a chore that I accomplish every day in order to feel some sense of validation in the person I am becoming. My growth cannot be tracked and forced, it just happens over time as I mature. There is no checklist to becoming a better me and a better person. I am who I am for now for a reason.
I have been too busy trying to figure out and plan every single move I make upon my return to college, that I never just stopped to realize that perhaps my over-planning has become a limitation to my growth and happiness. College is short, there is no doubt about that, but instead of trying to force myself into change, I realize now that I just need to let it happen.
So this time around, I am making a new goal for myself, and that goal is to simply enjoy every moment I can.
I don’t want to overthink and over plan, I just want to experience. No checklists of what I need to do and how I need to improve. The only thing I need to do is appreciate all the amazing things I have in my life and enjoy them. The rest will come along in time.
All I need to do, all any of us SHOULD do, is be here now.
