Well Nicholas, I adore you and your perfectly happy and cheesy love stories, but this is not helpful because I need something and it needs to be easy.
We spend so much time trying hard and working hard: at school, at work, at creating that perfect body – pretty much everything besides sleeping and eating. So is it too much to ask for something easy? I get that great things take time and beauty is in the eye of the beholder and patience is a virtue, but these clichés are really starting to frustrate me. I want someone and I want that someone now.
But why? Why do I suddenly feel like my life is incomplete without a significant other?
It could be the fact that my best friend has a boyfriend, that it’s starting to get cold outside, that I didn’t get enough sleep, or that my coffee reminded me of cuddling because it was so warm and satisfying. As silly as it seems, I could attribute my wanting a significant other to the fact that I have no one to burp with.
Maybe it’s seeing people holding hands on a daily basis; walking together, laughing together and just being so perfect and happy. I know that relationships aren’t all flowers and sunshine, but the thought of one is so appealing. When you’re in a relationship, you have someone. This someone isn’t only your best friend, but someone you can flirt with, cuddle with and kiss with. This person makes life a little lighter and your days a little fuller.
You see, without a significant other, we spend a lot of time thinking about ourselves. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but in my case, I think that I may be afraid of being alone – I think a lot of us are afraid of being alone. Maybe if I’m in a relationship I won’t have time to think about I’m still working on my relationship with myself. I could be searching for a significant other because I don’t feel significant enough to myself. Realistically, I know this isn’t something that has a clear-cut solution nor is it something that someone else could help, but I like to think that having a special person would make it easier.
Analyzing aside, why can’t someone want me the way Noah wants Allie? Perhaps Nicholas is right and nothing worthwhile is easy at all. How do other people do it, though? Is it as simple as bumping in to one another on the street or asking for help on a math problem? What I’m wondering is, how come other people can find a significant other while the rest of us eat French fries in bed alone watching "Jane the Virgin" on repeat?
The answer is because it’s easy, it’s familiar and it’s not nearly as scaring as actually finding a significant other. When someone finds you or you find them and you’re genuinely interested in one another, your life is no longer about you – it’s about this person, how they feel about you, how you feel about them, and all of the scary emotions that those things come with.
Except I don’t want to be scared anymore and I sure as hell don’t want to be alone anymore. I want a significant other because I want someone to care about me the way I could care about them. I want a significant other because I’m bored of one night stands and meaningless Tinder conversations. I want someone to kiss me in the rain, tell me I’m pretty and make me realize that all of this loneliness and patience hasn’t been for nothing.
