If You Put Communication And Rebuilding Trust First, Then Second Chances Are Worth It
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If You Put Communication And Rebuilding Trust First, Then Second Chances Are Worth It

They are possible.

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If You Put Communication And Rebuilding Trust First, Then Second Chances Are Worth It
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I recently wrote an article about how crappy it felt to be ghosted. Don't get me wrong, I still hate remembering the feeling.

However, I recently got back in touch with the guy who ghosted me, and though I did not necessarily go into the conversation (that I started) with complete confidence that I would get the answers I sought, I do not at all regret going out on a limb to get those answers, much less what followed. You see, I decided to give us a second chance.

Now I know what you're probably thinking, if you read my article about ghosting. Why would you let him back into your life when he was so quick to leave it before? I've heard all the negative comments and the potential harm of it has swirled around my head enough times to know that at any time, something could go wrong. I've even spoken to him about it myself, exposing my vulnerability to the one who could, if he so chose, to exploit that vulnerability.

That's the thing though. I gave him the guidelines of being able to regain my trust and forgiveness: be there for me, tell me when something is wrong, just let me know I can trust you again, and spend time with me. He agreed wholeheartedly, and has since shown me that he will continue to do just that. I trust him not to take advantage of the forgiveness I've chosen to give him. He is a good person, who just made (in his own words) a mistake, that he won't repeat again.

We've seen each other way more than we had the chance to when we were together before-three times in the first week and one day, to be specific. We talk every single day through Facebook messenger and Snapchat, sometimes texting too, we've video chatted a couple times, and spent over an hour on the phone when we both need sleep on a few occasions, all in the span of two and a half weeks (bear in mind, he and I live an hour apart and we both have busy schedules with work and school, so for us, that's a lot). We talk about our issues if we have them, discussing our viewpoints and how each of us can help the other to understand if we have differing opinions on important things. We reassure each other if we need to, and communication is important to us. We make plans for dates, which reassures me that he wants to stick around for a while.

I know it's not always easy for someone to understand why anyone would take back someone who hurt them a little bit in the past. Honestly, if it had not been something I chose to do myself, I would still be of that opinion. I've realized that it's far more important to give someone a second chance if you believe that they either deserve it at the time or could be deserving of it after proving their trustworthiness. I believe he deserves the second shot I've given the relationship partially because he didn't believe that he did, or that I would forgive him at all. It showed me that he was apologetic and knew that hurting someone was wrong. It shows that he cares about making things right with me, and he shows that through his actions and his words every single day. He did not assume that I would be anything but angry at him, and he still gave me the benefit of the doubt when he read my message to him, and responded.

Even though the past hurt, the second time is better because we both know what it's like to be completely without the other, and we know it sucks, so we're working hard to both trust and be trustworthy again. It's fun to sort of pick up where we left off, and emerge stronger than before. He makes me happy, he makes me feel beautiful even when I don't think I am, and he is there for me, reassuring me that I can get through anything and he's always going to be there.

Second chances are worth giving, and he is worth giving the second chance to.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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