Ever since I was little, my parents would tell me the same thing when I said they were my friends. It happened so many times: one second I would be playing with my parents and declare them my best friends when the next second, they would tell me that no, they were not my friends, they were my parents.
Of course 5-year-old me was pretty upset about this. I mean, my parents are pretty cool, so why couldn't they be my friends too? Isn't it possible to be friends with your parents? Why couldn't they be my parents and my friends? Why was it only one or the other?
The phrase had bothered me so much; I hated hearing it as I grew up. I gossiped with my mom while sitting in movie theaters and had crazy adventures with my dad, so how was that not friendship? We had inside jokes just like any friendship, so how were we not friends?
Recently I realized why the phrase, "We're not your friends, we're your parents," had upset me so much. I associated negative traits with the word “parents.” I thought of the term as strict, authoritative and rule-enforcing even though my parents were pretty darn cool. I basically thought my parents were saying, “Our job is to not let you eat ice cream twice in one day and to make you do your homework, not be nice!”
But that’s not what a parent is. A parent doesn’t just keep you from eating ice cream twice in one day and force you to do your homework. A parent is caring. A parent is supportive and their child’s biggest cheerleader. And most of all, a parent loves their child unconditionally. Parents have characteristics of a good friend, but they have the authority to tell you not to eat ice cream twice a day, unlike a friend. A friend could tell me not to eat so much ice cream, and I'd laugh while stuffing my face with another scoop of Häagen-Dazs cotton candy. My parents could tell me not to eat so much ice cream, and then I'd seriously consider not getting a sixth scoop.
So to answer my own questions, no it's not possible to be friends with your parents. The type of relationship you have with your parents is much stronger than a friendship. A friendship seems flimsy and weak compared to the strength of a positive relationship with your parents. Yes, I gossip with my mom sometimes, but she's not my friend. Yes, I've had the craziest adventures with my dad, but he's not my friend. My parents are my parents, and I’m more than OK with that.
