I guess I figured he was this way ever since I met him almost five years ago. The very first instance that we talked to each other, I was nervous because I didn’t know which gender he really was. Of course, I’ve learned since then that it is OKAY TO ASK when you aren’t sure. But over the years of knowing him, the transition from female to male has been an interesting experience for the both of us.
You might think, well you get to see this person becoming their true selves, and that it’s a really wonderful experience. While that may be true in some aspects, there are also many instances where it gets difficult and the limits of friendship are tested.
On more than one occasion, I have gotten asked about my relationship regarding my best friend. And by this I mean I was asked “Are you dating?” or “When are you two going to date?”, and other questions like that. While this did cause some problems initially, we now laugh it off as though it’s the silliest thing someone could ask. The reply is generally, well he is my best friend – always was, always will be – and that doesn’t change just because he is now his true gender.
Being a part of my best friend’s transition has taught me so many things I would never have otherwise learned on my own. I’m learning how to be a better friend. I know that I need to be there whenever he needs me and support him when the support from others is not necessarily evident. I also learned that just being there for him and listening to him is the biggest step I can take when it comes to being his best friend in this process.
I have also learned that people are going to be negative. And that there will always be people who do not support my best friend and what he is doing with his life. This is the part of our friendship that has been tested on multiple accounts. These situations really push him to the brink sometimes. And I know it is my job as his best friend to be there for him and bring him right back. But the outcome from these instances has just made us stronger in more ways than I ever imagined.
The negative people mean nothing to the amount of support and love that is also received through his transition. Both of us have learned what it means to love someone unconditionally, even through all of the difficult times. And the little positive moments during the transition are more rewarding than anything else along the way.
My best friend is transgender, and the experience has been nothing short of interesting and eye opening. I’m learning to be a better person for him, and how to help him (and others) along with their transition in any way that I can. And I plan to be with him every single step of the way.
