Over the past several years now, the pressure to date has been growing. My friends from high school, my friends from college, my parents and grandparents, my aunt and uncle, even my cousins and sister want me to date. With every passing month, the pressure to date someone grows, every once in a while a friend of mine, starts dating or moves on from a recent breakup and that makes me question, am I the only one stuck in a rut? Here are the things looming in my mind:
It requires commitment.
From my perspective, dating requires commitment, you need to purposefully sacrifice a good chunk of your free time to spend it with the person you are dating, there are times when that is not possible, and it simply adds to the pressure. I have realized that to be able to do that, all of my own life should more or less be in order, only then can I think of dating, for no one wants to date a clumsy person. In that sense, it requires commitment toward myself before the other. I realize that right now is the time to focus on my career and not on other stuff like this. I can date, but it's not a requirement.
It requires investment
No, I am not talking of financial investment, everyone has a different stature financially and that should never figure into a relationship. I am talking of emotional investment. Being in a relationship requires emotional investment into the person, you need to be open to understanding the issues and insecurities of the other person. That I simply think is emotionally taxing. There are times, when you yourself may need emotional support but instead, are lending emotional support to the other person, that is too much for me.
The perfect one
I am not saying that my girl is going to jump out of a chariot driven by eight glorious white horses that have golden manes. No. I have some expectations when it comes to dating. I am not going to start dating someone just for the sake of dating, that I think is unfair to not just the other person but to me as an individual. I'd rather wait
Resisting social pressure
Not dating is my act of defiance towards society or against the constant pressure to date. It is where my sense of individualism and completeness grows from. I know for a fact that I as an individual am complete in myself and do not need to be dependent on others at all. I realize that I am a man of a diversity of experiences, for I am studying Liberal Arts at a University that is considered the cradle of STEM education.
Finding your why
Try to figure out why you need to date. Is it because you feel lonely and have no one to back you up? Or is it just because you just want to shut everyone up? If it's the latter you probably should not think about it. Do it for your sake, not for that of others. I know I have not found my compelling why yet, hence no dating. Have you?
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