I'll be travelling back home for Christmas in a short 5 days, and I've been almost salivating over how much more 'right' the Christmas season is going to feel when I'm back in England. Sorry Georgia, but you haven't forced me out of my denim jacket and into a proper coat yet, and that's just not what Christmas is about. With these twelve steps, you too, can have yourself a truly British Christmas.

1. In the lead up to Christmas, you’ll want to debate furiously over which retailer has the best Christmas commercials this year. It’s estimated that UK companies spend around £5.6 billion annually battling it out for the best holiday advertisement; current contenders include Mrs Claus helping a young boy make amends with his sister, (put forward by Marks and Spencers), assorted wildlife jumping on a trampoline, (John Lewis), a talking carrot, (Aldi), and ice-skating orange yetis (Argos). Search them on Youtube, debate, decide.

2. You should know that it’s getting closer when it becomes impossible to avoid festive bangers. There’s a decent list here, but you can only really be sure it’s Christmas when you hear the Fairytale of New York streaming out of every shop you walk by. It’s the Pogues ft Kirsty MacColl, (and a lot of derogatory language), and tells the cheery story of an immigrant couple in New York, reminiscing on Christmas eve about the hope and dreams they used to have before they lost it all to alcoholism and drug addiction. If you’re looking for something to pick you up after that, there’s always I wish it could be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard, a canonical song for this time of year.

3. If you have younger siblings, you should look forward to finding out what obscure, definitely non-biblical animal they’re playing in the nativity. I was a penguin. Twice.

4. On the day, depending on what kind of family you are, you can either gather around to watch the Queen’s annual Christmas speech, or gather round to laugh at how boring it would be for you all to watch it.

5. You could watch The Snowman, a short, animated Christmas film about the adventure a young boy is taken on when his snowman comes alive. It’s shown every year.

6. That is, if you haven’t already watched Love Actually and decided which character you would be. I’m definitely Natalie, the awkward but ultimately adorable woman the Prime Minister falls in love with.

7. Or, alternatively, just endless Christmas specials. All of the Soap Operas will kill someone off, and somebody will probably have a baby.

8. A grandmother should always get sozzled. If she’s anything like mine, she’ll start telling people she’s paraplegic, (she means paralytic, as in British slang for drunk, completely drunk).

9. If you're over the age of eighteen, you too can get drunk! It'll probably feel pretty lukewarm surrounded by your family, but for me, nothing is going to beat being able to legally drink a nice fruit cider again.

10. Christmas crackers! A British tradition where two people pull on either side of a 'cracker' until it breaks, with the person left with the larger piece winning the contents of the cracker, (usually a party hat, a printed joke, and an always incredibly weird item like mini nail clippers, or an oversized paper clip). They're apparently not so popular in the states, and I had to sate my desire for them through a much inflated purchase through Amazon, but here is a link for you to make your own!

11. You’ll have turkey with your Christmas dinner, not ham. Fight me.

12. You’ll also have Yorkshire puddings with your dinner, (recipe here).

13. And you might have mince pies after, (recipe here).

14. Christmas will settle down, but then you’ve got boxing day! It’s the day after Christmas, and it’s almost our Black Friday in that everything is reduced, and it’s a retail worker’s worst nightmare.

Happy Holidays everybody!