The day I found out that Donald Trump won the primary election and was to represent the GOP my heart sank. I thought of all the things he has said and done thus far and was convinced it had all been a joke.

"Donald Trump couldn't possibly get the nomination!"

But then he did. Then I waited. I waited for people to come to their senses. But the fanfare got louder and the hatred became stronger. I heard him rave about Syrian refugees being terrorists and "not knowing who these people are" but all I could think about was the little boy sitting on a bus covered in his own blood and building debris and knew exactly what he was: human and in pain. I watched as he and his supporters laughed at Hillary Clinton, made fun of her, blamed her for her husband's affair, and assumed that she was only an extension of her husband- not her own person with her own political ideologies and agenda.

"He just speaks what everyone is afraid to say!"

I listened to recordings of this man saying he would date his daughter if she were not his daughter. I read articles about him being sued for sexual assault and harassment, his first wife, Ivana, admitting that he sexually assaulted her, and about the 13-year-old girl suing him for sexually assaulting her with another man. I heard him talk about grabbing women by the "pussy" and how he could do anything because of his status. I waited for the outcry from his follower.

"But those are all in the past!"

Then he called Hillary Clinton a, "nasty woman" on live television. He called people in our country, "bad hombres. " He interrupted and bullied his way into speaking at every debate. I watched his followers wanting to repeal the 19th amendment that my fellow sisters worked so hard for us to achieve; our right to vote. I waited for his absurdities to cease to be rationalized by his supporters.

"Make American Great Again!"

If this is "greatness" then I want to be awful. I want to be a "yuge loser" and I want to be dead last. If "greatness" is pushing people down to get ahead then I will be waving at the great ones as they pass me by. I will not bounce around and believe "greatness" if it lets my fellow women, my LGBTQA+ friends and family, my fellow Muslim and Mexican/LatinX/Hispanic citizens of my country (legal or illegal- regardless a citizen in my book), my low SES families that I work, teach, and love with, and all other victimized groups be tossed under the bus for our "greatness."

"Hillary Clinton is leading the polls but only by a few percentages!"

This was on my radio this morning as I drove to class and I panicked at how close the numbers were: 45% to 47.2%. I am scared. I am petrified. I do not know how I will explain to my future students that we don't say hateful things, push and knock others down to get ahead, or make fun of our peers if their President is doing it. How do you tell a child that someone they idolize and admire is wrong?

I sent in my absentee ballot and now I all I can do is wait and hope people have heard our cries and recognized our fear.

All I can do is wait.