Many millennial girls are becoming familiar with a group of women who call themselves The Betches. The reason that I personally am so attracted to them is because the way that they write is the way that I talk and the way that a lot of my friends talk - with no filter, vulgarity, and loaded sarcasm. I literally laugh out loud when I read their work, and don't care that I look like a psycho in public while doing so. I nod and think to myself "...wow, dat's me" at pretty much every written word. Honestly, they have taught me so much about being self-aware, knowing my worth, and not accepting less than what I deserve from anyone in my life.
I have had the pleasure of reading one of their two books. I Had A Nice Time and other lies... talks about getting yourself together before dating someone, the current dating world, hook-ups, the stages of relationships, and so much more. This book has somewhat been my version of the Bible these last few months. I look to it when I need to know if I'm being too crazy, delusional, or if this boy is actually just an idiot and I was right all along (this is usually the case, FYI). As I already mentioned, everything that these women say is relatable and I don't take their advice lightly. However, below are just a few of my personal favorites that I hope can help fellow betches know when to chill, how to communicate properly, or just know their worth/know when to drop that loser before he messes up your emotional well-being and you're on your fifth glass of Merlot at 9:00 PM:
1. "The only reason you should be in a relationship is because your boyfriend/fiance/husband/lover adds something awesome to your life, not because he completes it. You're a betch, you have the privilege of your own company. You're a hot commodity and your time and, more important, your affection are valuable, so why would you let just anyone in?" (p. 4, "Why Should You Listen to Us?").
2. "There's no such thing as a soul mate. Besides the fact that the term is as gag inducing as the thought of eating anything off the McDonald's dollar menu sober, the concept of soul mates always was, is now, and will always be bullshit. Why? Because there are over seven billion people in the world, and more than just one of them is right for you. The right guy for you is the guy who wants what you want at the same time as you" (p. 17, "Cue the Tears and Chocolate: There's No Such Thing as a Soul Mate").
3. "Are we saying that you must get rid of all of your insecurities in order to find love? No, but at least identify the main one. Think of it as the Ed Sheeran to your Taylor Swift. It follows you around even though it's like, really unattractive but for some reason you can't stop listening to everything it says. Be brave, and kick that ginger out of your head for good" (p. 24, "Getting Your Shit Together: It's Like Sephora for the Soul").
4. "Instead of fantasizing about having sex with him, emotional masturbation is stimulating your brain by fantasizing about everything from him impressing your mother to how his name will look on your wedding invitations to what private school your kids will attend.... But when you set him up to be the perfect man you're creating an unrealistic and ridiculous image of what you want him to be, which he can't possibly live up to. He's a real person, and real people are complicated and have nuances and aren't always who they appear to be when you've only spent about eight hours total with them" (pp. 148-150, "Seriously, Though: Don't Fucking Get Ahead of Yourself").
5. "It's totally okay to have a bro you like to hook up with when you're bored and no one else is around - that's what we call a back-burner bro - as long as both you and he have a mutual understanding of what your relationship is and definitely is not. But it's not okay to lie to yourself and say you're completely fine being just friends with benefits when you actually want more. Own your feelings. It's lame and pathetic to lie to all your friends and yourself" (p. 169, "How Do You Eliminate Him from Your Life Despite the Fact That You Like, Really Don't Want To").
6. "Inevitably your guy will do things that annoy you. If he doesn't, you're either a doormat or you need to raise your standards. Guys do stupid shit all the time, it's their nature.... By saying how something makes you feel, it shows that you're not blaming him, reminds him that despite appearances you are in fact human, and teaches him the consequences of his actions. He can't argue with your feelings because they're your feelings (ew) and therefore not debatable" (pp. 224-225, "How to Fight Without Setting All His Clothes on Fire").
7. "By breaking up with someone with whom you don't see a future when you realize you don't want them anymore, you're doing both of you a favor. Why would that guy want to be with someone who doesn't actually want to be with him? Also, breaking up with someone who you know isn't right for you shows that you respect yourself enough to not waste your own time trying to make something that you know is shitty work just because you're lonely or because your cousin Natalie's wedding is coming up and you don't want to deal with your grandma's rant about the drawbacks of dying alone" (pp. 239-240, "This Isn't Working Out: How Do I Get Him to GTFO?").
8. "Don't expect a guy to change. If, a year into the relationship, he tells you he doesn't want to get married or says that he doesn't believe in monogamy, run as fast as you can. Yeah, it's possible he doesn't realize he wants to marry you yet and will realize it after five more years together. But it's more probable that time will go on and he'll be comfortable with the fact that you stayed despite his feelings. If you want to get married, your boyfriend should at least have it in his radar for the future. If not, say bye bitch, and move on" (p. 280, "Ultimatums: Are They Ever Okay?").
There you have it, betches. These are some of the major keys (DJ Khaled v.) to being the best version of yourself, with or without a guy to complement you. If you're anything like me, you'll immediately go out and get a copy of this after this little taste and giggle to yourself in very inappropriate places. Happy reading :)
