When you think of family what comes to mind? Is it your parents? Your siblings? Maybe it is your dog? Either way, most of us have someone or something in our lives that we consider family. I have been blessed to have a big family.

Now I know what you are thinking, this article is boring, and what's the big deal about a big family. Well I'm writing this for a couple of reasons, one being I love my family, and two is to explain that we aren’t crazy (well, not that crazy anyway) because we have a big family.

The average family nowadays is made up of the two parents and two children. That's four people. Four. My family is not nearly that small. I have my parents and 6 siblings. Now that is a big family for just immediate family, meaning my brothers and sisters. Well, it doesn’t end there. I became an aunt at the age of eight and in total I now have fourteen nieces and nephews. Ten boys and four girls. There is also more on the way.

So when I say big, I mean I have an insane amount of people in my family.

Well the craziness doesn’t end there. You see my family is lucky enough to all live in the same area, so we see each other quite often. Actually, we see each other almost every day. And yes, we choose to see each other. Now I know that this may not be odd to some people, and given the amount of people in my family we are bound to run into each other somewhere right? But in most families with children out of the house, they do not choose to see each other often. I think that is sad, but that is a whole other issue.

What does this have to do with anything? Well have you ever been to a restaurant and there is that one really noisy family with all the kids that can’t seem to get them to shut up, and then you think to yourself why did they not stop at two kids? That family is way too big. You see being the youngest in a family this large, that gathers as often as we do, we hear this a lot. This is annoying and actually very hurtful. Recently my oldest sister, who is the mother of five with one on the way, had very hurtful things said to her because she has so many children. This is not the first time that this has happened, and it probably won’t be the last, but she shared something that a friend shared with her that kind of explains how these comments made her feel. This is what it said, “Somewhere else is another woman: 34, five children. People say to her, “Five? Good lord, I hope you’re done!” And then they laugh… because those types of comments are funny. The woman laughs too, but not in earnest. She changes the subject, as she always does, and gives the disrespect a pass. Just another day. Alone, she cries…

Cries because she’s pregnant with another and feels like she has to hide the joy. Cries because she always wanted a big family and doesn’t see why people seem so disturbed by it. Cries because she has no siblings and felt profoundly lonely as a child. Cries because her Granny had 12 and she’d love to be just like her. Cries because she couldn’t imagine life without her children, but people treat her like they’re a punishment. Cries because she doesn’t want to be pitied. Cries because people assume this isn’t what she wanted. Cries because they assume she’s just irresponsible. Cries because they believe she has no say. Cries because she feels misunderstood. Cries because she’s tired of defending her private choices. Cries because she and her husband are perfectly capable of supporting their family, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Cries because she’s tired of the “funny” comments. Cries because she minds her own business. Cries because she wishes others would mind theirs. Cries because sometimes she doubts herself and wonders if she should have stopped two kids ago. Cries because others are quick to offer criticism and slow to offer help. Cries because she’s sick of the scrutiny. Cries because she’s not a side show. Cries because people are rude. Cries because so many people seem to have opinions on her private life. Cries because all she wants to do is live in peace.”

This has stuck with me. This isn’t okay. NO one should feel this way. So with that all said, let me explain to you why having a big family is okay. In my family, we have some sayings. Number one is family comes first. My family is and always will be the biggest supporter I could have. When my family would come and support me at my sporting events in high school, and a teammate would make the comment about my fan club showing up, that made me so proud and thankful for having that “fan club”. Not everyone does. There were many times that my parents couldn't make it to a game because of other family crises that were going on. But I am lucky enough to have siblings that stepped right up and showed up when I needed them most. My family will always be there no matter what. Family comes first.

In my family, there is so much love. As crazy as it sounds, we enjoy each others company, and I can honestly say that we choose to hang out with each other because we love each other so much. I couldn't imagine life without one of my siblings or two less of my nieces or nephews because they have brought so much joy into my family. I love them all with my whole heart and would do anything for each and everyone.

Now I could probably go on forever, but that would simply take up too much time. Next time you are out and about, and you see a large family, please do not criticize. They aren't crazy. Be happy for them because God has blessed them with that large family. Thanks for reading!