I hate you, love.

I'd rather swallow swords or walk through a frozen tundra than face your wrath. You lure people in with romanticist undertones and capture them by sending chills up spines, butterflies in stomachs, and jumbled thoughts in heads. You blind them from the truth by consuming them whole like a four course meal. You deafen them with promises like, "I will never hurt you", "I trust you", even though you know too well they will always be broken.

I gave you a try, I really did. I put my heart and soul into you, but all I got out of you was wasted time, tears, and heartache. The walls that were previously knocked down are hastily being built by the guards created by my brain to protect my heart. They will keep watch daily, and no one is allowed to be let in. One can only withstand so much trauma - physical or emotional. I am sucked dry; exhausted; empty. Trust was found, but lost in the haziness that is doubt, and is in exile.

I'd rather be heartless and stone-cold than be put under your spell again. The sleepless nights and tossing and turning aren't worth it. The constant wondering if he will ever call or text, or show up will end. I'd rather open my phone to no messages than sit and play the waiting game. There is only a limited amount of kindness and compassion that I have. It's dwindling to nothing, and I want to save it before I become someone else. I have too much going on in my life to dance around you. I don't have time for your childish behavior.

You let me down again. You only get so many chances, love. They're depleting by the day, the hour, the minute, the second. You had your shot, but you blew it. No more chances this time, love. I'm definitely a person who is one to forgive, but not anymore with you.

On the highway that is life, you were a detour that led me down the wrong road. A road that nobody should be on, not even the bravest of them all. You made me spin out of control, causing the biggest crash. I'm left to pick up the pieces and deal with the agonizing pain from the deep wounds.

I'm tired of unrequitedness. The tears that I shed over a person who didn't care could fill an entire ocean. The self doubt and worthlessness are corals that line the ocean floor, and insecurity swims among them like fish. You're the dangerous riptide that pulls people down, drowning them. I'm tired of struggling to keep my head above water and swimming to shore, hoping to find someone else who is worth all this trouble. There isn't anyone, and there won't be a someone who is worth diving in for.

Will I change my mind? Maybe, but not now. I'd rather have a black hole of a heart and be a Medusa than a Venus with a golden heart who never gets the love she deserves. It's a goodbye for now. I'm done with your excuses. The persuasion and convincing doesn't work on me anymore. The golden heart is being covered by a black one so that it is safe from you, love.

Of course, there are other kinds of love. Love for passions, family, friends, etc. That's the kind of love to focus on. On the other hand, romantic love is toxic and evil. I guess my generation is right about you, love. Like they say, catching feelings is a disease that needs to be cured with aggressive treatment. The doctor calls for suppression, coldness, and insecurity. Emotions are profound and uncontrollable - if you lock them away and hide the key, you won't be affected by them.

I hate to turn my back on you, love; I'm sure you have a lot to give. I'm sure there are people that have been lucky to be struck by Cupid's bow and arrow. For me, it's just been negative, and I want to focus on the positive. I'm wrapping my feelings into a cocoon, where they will hide and be protected until it's safe to feel again.

Love, I can't handle this emotional roller coaster any longer due to the fact that I'm losing my sanity trying to keep up with you. You're a marathon race, and I will not reach the finish line. I forfeit.

The verdict is in and the jury is out: I hate you, love.