27 Thoughts Everyone Who Hates Running Will Recognize | The Odyssey Online
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27 Thoughts Everyone Who Hates Running Will Recognize

"The only times you will ever see me running are either after an ice cream truck or if I'm being chased."

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27 Thoughts Everyone Who Hates Running Will Recognize
runhaven.com

Running. It's a physical activity that every human person with two working legs can do. Dogs can do it. Cheetahs can do it. Turtles can't do it, but you get the point, a lot of living organisms can run. Even though I do have this capability, I absolutely hate to run. The only times you will ever see me running is after an ice cream truck or if I'm being chased. I have short, stocky legs and the stamina of a 12-year-old dog, so my running shoes do not look anything like Forrest Gump's. Here is how running is for me when I do try to convince myself that running is healthy and can be fun.

1. Today is the day. I'm going to actually run! How athletic of me!

2. Okay, first things first: fuel. I need energy. Let me look up smoothies that runners drink before a run.

3. Wait I can't make a smoothie, I don't have a blender. I guess I'll go to Tropical Smoothie Cafe real quick.

4. *goes to Tropcal Smoothie Cafe and comes back* Okay, now I'm really ready for action!

5. Alright, I probably need to do some stretches. I've seen some marathoners do, like, full on splits to stretch.

6. Five minutes of stretching should be enough, right?

7. It's go time. Let's take it slow and steady.

8. Oh! This isn't so bad! This is actually kind of nice!

9. Why haven't I done this before? I can so see how people do this for fun!

10. Music might help. Oh yeah, this Ellie Goulding remix sure knows how to get me moving!

11. Let me check my FitBit to see how far I've gone!

12. I've only gone half of a mile. I thought I was almost done with the second mile, at least.

13. Oh no. Oh no. Pain. It has hit me. I am hurting.

14. I am in pain. I am about to pass out. My chest hurts. I will pass out here on the sidewalk of the busy street and no one will know where to find me because I don't normally run.

15. What have I done to myself?

16. I hate everything.

17. I should have brought water. I'm definitely dehydrated already.

18. I am panting like a dog. I need to get it together right now.

19. Oh, no. I see cute boys. The cute boys are now looking at me as I run. Okay, be cool.

20. "Heyyyyy!" *tries to wave and trips over shoelace*

21. Okay, coast is clear. I can walk.

22. I wonder how far I've run?

23. One mile? I thought for sure I had ran three by now!

24. Oh well, I guess it is time for me to call it quits then. Maybe I will get a cheeseburger on the way home.

25. I am definitely getting the fries, too. I totally deserve the fries.

26. I think I will just stick to not running.

27. Unless it is for ice cream. I would totally still run for ice cream.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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