I Hate That I Changed Myself For You

I Hate That I Changed Myself For You

But I am slowly picking up the pieces of me that I lost.
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I do, I hate that I changed myself for you. I don’t hate myself, I just hate the fact that I let myself get so far away from who I am because of you. I don’t hate much, just birds and banana milk. I don’t even hate you, just the fact that I was so blinded that I didn’t see what was happening to myself.

My time was probably the first to go. I poured myself, heart, and soul into you. Spent all my time with you, and when I wasn’t with you, I was thinking about you. You were all I would talk about to my family and friends, and I am sad to think that I probably talked about you more than I let them talk about themselves and share their own problems. You were all I thought about, morning, noon, and night. I really just couldn’t get you off my mind.

Next was probably my attitude. The more time I spent with you, the more I adopted your little quirks and characteristics. I thought my sassy tone of voice was funny because I laughed when you did it, but I bet my mom didn’t like it. I began to talk like you talked, little phrases you often said entering my everyday language. I couldn’t carry on a conversation without saying something like you.

I also started to snap at people and just lose my patience. Being with you constantly was exhausting, and I didn’t have time for anything else. My friends went to the back burner, and my family became distant. All I talked about with anyone was you. I am sure they were sick of it. I feel so ashamed that I treated those I love like I did, that isn’t who I am.

You were like an ice cream cone and I was someone who is lactose intolerant. I wanted the ice cream cone so badly, and it tasted so good, but the consequences were not worth it. I really thought I loved you at first, but unfortunately, that was just a figment of my imagination.

It has taken me a lot to get over you, but I am. I am picking up the pieces of myself that you tore down and left scattered. Slowly but surely, I will get back to where I was. A happy girl with a world of opportunities ahead of her. God bless my faithful friends and family who stood by me through it all and put up with me when I fell.

Lastly, I want to thank you. Even though you caused my so much grief and harm, without you I wouldn’t have known what that was like. I came out stronger and a better person. Going through grief and heartache has taught me many lessons, but the most important is that I have been made for greatness. Greatness was not when I was with you, miserable, but hanging onto the false hope of love and praise. Greatness is me now, accepting defeat and reaching a hand up to those that support me and continuing to move forward to bigger and better things, not you.

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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A Reminder To Always Be Open With Each Other

The most important part of a relationship is honesty.

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From past and present experience, I know that talking to your significant other about what's on your mind can feel impossible. You don't want to be pegged as annoying. You don't want to be considered clingy. You don't want any negative energy between the two of you. While that's completely understandable, it's important to communicate about everything. If all is well after you two have talked, chances are your relationship will be stronger.

Bonds can be made physically and emotionally. Of course, physical attraction is what strikes your attention, but emotional attraction seals the deal. In order to form a strong bond, you have to be open and honest in your relationship. You have to be clear on what it is you want from each other. Is it just casual? Is it more serious? If an agreement can't be reached, it's not the right fit. If you have worries, no matter when they strike, bring them up in conversation. Talking to your significant other about them will ease your mind, especially if they confirm a positive outcome.

Always remember to be true to yourself. Don't allow your values or opinions to change because of someone else. Keep an open mind and an open heart, but be cautious. Don't allow your world to come crashing down in the instant that something takes a turn for the worst. Both you and your significant other have feelings. Talk about the positives and negatives in your lives. Delve deep into each others' characteristics. It's normal to feel vulnerable. It's what completes you as a human being.

Being in a relationship can be difficult at times. There will come a time when the two of you will need to overcome an obstacle. Communicating about the issue could help solve the problem. You never know until you talk about it.

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