I Hate That I Changed Myself For You

I Hate That I Changed Myself For You

But I am slowly picking up the pieces of me that I lost.
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I do, I hate that I changed myself for you. I don’t hate myself, I just hate the fact that I let myself get so far away from who I am because of you. I don’t hate much, just birds and banana milk. I don’t even hate you, just the fact that I was so blinded that I didn’t see what was happening to myself.

My time was probably the first to go. I poured myself, heart, and soul into you. Spent all my time with you, and when I wasn’t with you, I was thinking about you. You were all I would talk about to my family and friends, and I am sad to think that I probably talked about you more than I let them talk about themselves and share their own problems. You were all I thought about, morning, noon, and night. I really just couldn’t get you off my mind.

Next was probably my attitude. The more time I spent with you, the more I adopted your little quirks and characteristics. I thought my sassy tone of voice was funny because I laughed when you did it, but I bet my mom didn’t like it. I began to talk like you talked, little phrases you often said entering my everyday language. I couldn’t carry on a conversation without saying something like you.

I also started to snap at people and just lose my patience. Being with you constantly was exhausting, and I didn’t have time for anything else. My friends went to the back burner, and my family became distant. All I talked about with anyone was you. I am sure they were sick of it. I feel so ashamed that I treated those I love like I did, that isn’t who I am.

You were like an ice cream cone and I was someone who is lactose intolerant. I wanted the ice cream cone so badly, and it tasted so good, but the consequences were not worth it. I really thought I loved you at first, but unfortunately, that was just a figment of my imagination.

It has taken me a lot to get over you, but I am. I am picking up the pieces of myself that you tore down and left scattered. Slowly but surely, I will get back to where I was. A happy girl with a world of opportunities ahead of her. God bless my faithful friends and family who stood by me through it all and put up with me when I fell.

Lastly, I want to thank you. Even though you caused my so much grief and harm, without you I wouldn’t have known what that was like. I came out stronger and a better person. Going through grief and heartache has taught me many lessons, but the most important is that I have been made for greatness. Greatness was not when I was with you, miserable, but hanging onto the false hope of love and praise. Greatness is me now, accepting defeat and reaching a hand up to those that support me and continuing to move forward to bigger and better things, not you.

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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If Your BF Breaks Up With You Because Another Girl Is Bored, She Ain't The Problem

If you think your man would do that, break up with your boyfriend, he's a dick.

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So, Ariana Grande dropped a bop-filled album last week and, uh, people are pissed.

The song is filled with banger after banger, concluding with the apparently rage-inducing song "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored."

Ariana Grande - break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored YouTube

The song doesn't really go much deeper than that. There have been interpretations that the song is really about Ariana breaking out of relationships so she can date herself, or her pushing the dude to dump his girlfriend so she can date the girl.

But, of course, at its surface level, the song is about convincing a guy to break up with his girlfriend because you're bored and you want to sleep with him. People are really not happy about it:

"More like 'break up with your girlfriend because I'm a whore.' If that's the kind of attitude you have, stay away from me and my boyfriend because you're just a homewrecker. Sorry, not sorry." — Megan Crabb
"I thought Ariana Grande was a real one, but her song 'Breakup With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored' is NOT the move and if you feel this energy then stay the fuck away from me." — @brandalintipton
"yaa break up with ur girlfriend, I'm bored by Ariana is good and all but if I catch any of you bitches with that energy around my man, you're getting your shit rocked xo" — bitchqueeenXo
"If you convince my boyfriend to break up with me because you're bored, I may just snap your neck... because I'm bored." — Sara Ursum

Here's the thing: If your boyfriend dumps you because some other girl is bored, he's probably not really worth keeping around? Let's just think about that for a few seconds, OK? If your boyfriend would genuinely END YOUR RELATIONSHIP (not cheat on you — per Ariana's direction, she doesn't want unfaithfulness) to sleep with some girl because she's bored, is she REALLY the problem? She's not a homewrecker if he's single, and your beloved dumped you to "hit it" so honestly, I think she may have done you a favor.

If your boyfriend cheats on your and the ~other woman~ knows that you exist, sure, they're both grade-A assholes. But if your boyfriend leaves you for another woman who politely requested for him to end things BEFORE they get together, then I hate to say it but your boyfriend is the lone grade-A asshole.

The bottom line is, if you feel threatened by this song and think girls feeling this "energy" will be detrimental to your relationship, then your relationship is probably pretty bad. Unless your boyfriend is a tool, another woman's sexual boredom isn't going to be a reason for him to leave you. And if another woman's sexual boredom IS a reason for him to leave you, then he's a tool and you dodged a bullet.

So basically, if this song makes you worried your boyfriend is going to leave you, then break up with your boyfriend, he sucks.

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