With the chemistry of Halsey and Chainsmokers taking over the charts with their hit new single "Closer", people are beginning to remember just how they feel about their ex. Alongside Gnash with Olivia O'Brien and their single "I Hate You, I Love You", the charts are exploding with post-breakup songs. In a time when it seems as though love and hate for an ex are the current phenomenon, why do we keep going back to our ex? Why are songs like this so popular?
It makes sense that these songs hit the top of the charts as quick as they did because for some reason they hit home. They hit the areas of our lives that we feel guilty for feeling- the areas that involve our ex. We feel certain feelings for the people that are the worst for us. But why? I'm sure there's a philosophical approach to this question, but for the sake of this post, the answer is simple. Just as it is said in Perks of Being a Wallflower, "we accept the love in which we think we deserve." I'll be the first to admit that after my breakup, I had no idea how life would go on. For me, entering college in a relationship was my identity. Everyone knew me as so and so's girlfriend. Now, I would just be "Alex." It sounds stupid but with every deletion of every picture that people liked, I felt as though I was losing a piece of myself. In all actuality, I was gaining a piece of myself that I wasn't able to have earlier- the parts of 'Alex' that made me 'Alex.'
It makes sense that I felt like I lost a piece a myself because how was ever going to find this piece of me again? This my friends, is the answer to my original question of why these songs are the ones that we keep listening to over and over again. We love the feeling of meaning something to someone- it's only human nature. We are so hung up on this natural high that we get from receiving the love and attention of one person that we find comfort in the songs that illustrate it the most. Hence the reason as to why "Closer" and "I Hate You, I Love You" have become so popular. They have found a way to give us the natural high we feel in a relationship without the need for a relationship.
For this reason, I hate that I love the backseat of your rover.
