I absolutely hate that I have a difficult time when it comes to relating to my peers.
I have been dealing with this for my entire life, and I can never find an answer as to how it started or why it is happening. I always think about this fact because it is so prevalent in my social life. I couldn't help but think about it again recently.
I was out at a party with my family, and my mom was telling some of her friends about me and my brothers. At one point, she brought up how I was a rambunctious little child. At age three, my behavior of frequent door slamming warranted my father to unscrew the hinges of my door and remove it from the frame. My initial reaction to the story was, "That sounds like something a parent does to their thirteen-year-old daughter!"
In that moment, I thought about the endless instances when I felt isolated because of my maturity level and who I was as a person. I wasn’t the type of person who was obsessed with Twilight in 2008 or who wanted to break curfew in the 11th grade. While not everyone went through those specific moments, most could say that they had a “stereotypical teen” phase (mine seemed to be when I was still learning how to read).
People who are my age are doing exactly what I am doing –– attending college, working at a part-time job, and figuring out what career to choose. These people are great to have in my life because they will completely understand me –– I mean, they're going through the exact same things! But for some reason, I never feel like I am "going through it" with anyone. I don't go to college with anyone from my high school, I still haven't gotten my license yet, and I am way more interested in homework than a college student should ever be. Don't get me wrong, I've managed to make friends within my age range that I have a great connection with. But some days, I just feel like the odd one out. You know that feeling when everyone is laughing at a joke that you don't understand? That's just it.
I fear that my inability to relate to others has caused me to always be "the mom" or "a buzzkill" during high school. I fear that it has cost me some really fun adventures, and I fear that it has lost me some friends as well. I fear that I'm running out of time to live by the motto "you're only young once".
This isn't the part of the article where I talk about this huge realization that "I have the rest of my life to act like a boring, stereotypical adult." There was never a moment in my life where I seriously was unable to relate to literally everyone in my age group. There will never be a moment in my life where I am able to relate to literally everyone in my age group. My peers and I might be the same age, but that doesn't stop us from having different experiences from one another. In fact, it proves that not only are we able to understand each other, but we are able to learn from each other as well.
