I have always hated goodbyes. I have never been good at them. I mean, how does one even say goodbye? Sure, there are different types of goodbyes. There is the “hey, see you later today,” or the “bye! See you in a few weeks.” But how do you say goodbye for real? I mean, the ones where you won't see that person later because they are, in fact, exiting your life.

How do you let a friend go? How do you say goodbye to someone you love? How does one actively decide to just let another person go?

If someone dies then the goodbye is most certainly a different one. I have never been good with these types of goodbyes either. These goodbyes, however, are in a bizarre way almost easier. The person is gone; you truly cannot contact them.

One of my good friends passed away and I remember that period of time being truly horrific. I was distraught. A young person passing is never easy, and honestly a child dying never has made sense to me. Well, my friend died. Gone. No goodbye. Unable to reach.

I hate goodbyes. When my friends or family members die the person may be is gone, but not in the sense that I have deliberately let them out of my life. I never had to really say goodbye to them. They will always be there with me. At times, it is often horrible, and I wish nothing more than the chance to be able to speak to them again. I wish that my friend, or my grandfather, were there for me to go on adventures with, talk to, to laugh with. In reality, they are not there. I must accept the fact that they are gone, but not forgotten.

So then, how does one say goodbye to a living person? When I went off to college I remember saying "bye" to one of my best friends. Although we knew that we would see each other in a few short months, we decided to not actually say the word “bye,” but rather “see you later.” I am not sure why we were so upset by saying the word “bye” when we knew would just be gone for a few short months. The prospect of not seeing one of my best friends whom I had spent countless hours and days with over the summer upset me. I always fear the prospect of drifting apart, and saying goodbyes makes me think of leaving someone. I do not want to leave my friends though; I simply just want to see them later. Friends are family, and I get homesick.

Then, there are the real goodbyes. The live goodbyes where one has to actively choose to let someone out of their life. These, to me, are the absolute worst. I am not speaking of the relationships where you were friends for a few weeks and then you both just drift apart, or those goodbyes where you meet someone and know that you will probably never see or speak to them again. I am referring to the goodbyes when you have been extremely close to another person: you love them, they are a part of your life, and you choose to say goodbye.

You and your best friend, or maybe even just a good friend, have gone in different directions. Staying in touch becomes harder and harder. Suddenly, there comes a day when something monumental happens and without even realizing it, you do not even think to text or call that special person. Then comes the time when you realize that you and your friend have drifted apart, so you make an attempt to mend your relationship. The trouble is, you are at completely different places now. The fixing turns to arguing and the drifting becomes more severe and turns to goodbye. You deliberately let go of your best friend and hope that they may return in the future, but even if they do come back, will it be the same?

From personal experience, I once drifted apart from my best friend. In fact, we are still not at the place we once were. We went different directions and our everyday constant chatter turned into once every few days to once every few weeks to a “happy birthday.” The sadness is there, and the pain even more so. You miss having “your person” in your corner. You miss waking up to several messages explaining what crazy, yet boring to anyone who might not know you well, event just took place. You miss the laughs that no one understood. You miss the bonds you know can never be replicated. You miss walking into their kitchen and opening their fridge as if you were in your own home.

But, as I mentioned, I hate goodbyes. Life is short, if someone matters, do not say goodbye. Fight for them. Sure, maybe you need some time to reevaluate and think about yourself for a bit, but do not just let that person go. My best friend and I are back. Sure, we are not where we used to be, but we are getting there.

I will admit that finding that special someone who you can really trust and confide in is hard. People let you down, and sometimes truths are hidden, but when you do find someone who means something to you, how do you just let them leave?

I think this is why I hate goodbyes. I do not understand how someone can just let another person that they love go. Sometimes people need breaks, and that I can understand. Maybe something traumatic happened and you need time to learn and grow by yourself, but if you love someone and they mean something to you, why not make an effort? Get them back.