To sum my love life up I am the single friend. I am the friend who watches her friends go through breakups and how much it kills them. I am not the one who goes through the breakups and I have been that girl for all of my life. The truth is I hate being single I truly do and I have many people say to me "he will come when the time is right" or "don't best yourself up" and my personal favorite "you shouldn't hate being single you should enjoy it"
So what it comes down to is I will not apologize for hating being single. It's not that I'm desperate or I crave love because that's not it. It's that I see all of my friends be in and out of relationships and I don't. I am sure it sounds like I'm whining but it's something you can't describe unless you understand and the feeling is mutual.
Call me crazy but I would love to feel a heartbreak I would love to know exactly what that feels like. I am sure that those reading this will think "wow she is nuts why would she want to feel like that" The thing is I am sure I wouldn't enjoy it but it's one of those you always want what you can't have issues.
One if the hardest things for me is to check Instagram or Facebook and I am constantly scrolling past pictures of couples with the cutest caption ever and then all of the "aww you guys are perfect" comments and my heart instantly drops. I would love to be that girl who posts cute pictures with their significant other and smile at ever comment my picture has received. Not because I love attention but because I love being loved. And I have never truly felt that before so, of course, I'm jealous.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not mad that I don't have that and I don't hate those who do. It's just that I would give anything to feel it even for a second. However, I'm allowed to be bummed. I am constantly hearing people say how they love being single but I guess I am different when it comes to relationships because I hate being single and I will not apologize for that.
Yes, I know Mr. Right is out there somewhere but I loose hope as the days go on. I constantly have people give me the whole "you are gorgeous! guys have to be all over you" and the more I hear that it doesn't make me feel better it makes me feel worse. The truth is I just would love to feel what all of the happy couples feel. I would love for a guy to look at me like I mean the world to him. No, I am not miserable or depressed because of this issue but I will say this due to popular opinion I truly believe being single sucks. It's a difficult thing especially when I am surrounded by couples. So yes I don't enjoy being single I would love to not be single but I know that when the times comes the wait will be well worth it.
