Has Our Generation Changed Dating for Better or Worse?

What our parents’ generation would find peculiar about this sequence of events is that it’s the complete opposite of how men and women pursued each other in the past.  Kissing and other sexual activity was an intimate thing to be saved until after you had gotten to know each other better.  In regard to dating my dad in high school, my mom said, “he took me on two dates before I would even consider kissing him. He had to work to earn it.”        
Nowadays, sexual chemistry and appearance come before personality and getting to know each other. If your drunken conversation with the cutie you met at the bar or mixer has blossomed by the end of the night, chances are he will ask for your number.

What is different about our generation’s new dating culture is that this guy you were talking to will probably ask you to go home with him now too. What happened to men acting chivalrous and courting a girl before expecting to do anything sexual with her? This isn’t to say that girls aren’t at fault, too, for perpetuating the cycle by accepting the request. Come on now. We all know what “we can hang out and watch a movie” really means.

The ability to text message one another has immensely changed the way college students communicate with someone they’re interested in. If I were a guy, I’d be very afraid. You’re not just texting a girl, you’re texting a whole panel of her friends too, who will help her critique and scrutinize what you say and advise her what to say back to you. Girls aren’t the only ones who do this, though. I know plenty of guys who have admitted to asking for advice on how to properly respond to a girl’s text. The problem with how much thought goes into these texts is that we’re no longer saying what we want to say, but rather what we think is socially acceptable to say. “If I use an exclamation mark do I sound too excited? If I add a smiley face do I seem too desperate?” 

You’d never have to ask yourself those questions if you were getting to know someone face to face. You also wouldn’t have the time to ask for your friend’s advice about how to respond. The result would be a conversation that is much more genuine.

In the times before phones, people were forced to--gasp--talk about important or uncomfortable things in person. Now, the easy way out is to hide behind a technological veil of security and ambiguity. It’s easier to be flirty or say something you wouldn’t normally over text, because it’s not as embarrassing to be rejected over text than it is in person. There’s a sense of detachment that comes from knowing that you have time alone to react, and don’t need to think on the spot. 

Whether this detachment is good, however, is up to your interpretation. On one hand, you may be able to have conversations with someone that you wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing up in person. It also gives you more time to think through your response, rather than say the first thing that comes to mind. On the other hand, those conversations you have over text are diluted by the ambiguity that comes from misconstrued meanings. When you can’t see or hear how the message is being said, the tone of the message can easily be misinterpreted. Also, having a texting conversation with someone about something important rather than having it in person prevents you from being vulnerable and growing as a person by breaking out of your comfort zone.

Another way texting affects relationships and dating nowadays is that it keeps us constantly connected with one another. While this can be beneficial for people in long distance relationships who don’t get to see each other as often, it has consequences for those of us who are pursuing a potential romantic partner. We often get lazy and substitute text messages and Snapchat pictures for in-person conversations. By reducing this face-to-face time, our conversations become more superficial. This decreases the natural progression of intimacy and connection that comes from getting to know someone in person. Next time you have something important to say, say it in person, not over text.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments