I have no words for the disgust I felt when watching the video of Philandro Castile being murdered. To see him struggle to breathe, to talk, to live – shook me. When the officer tries to say that he told Castile not to move, you can hear the urgent reminiscent of “I just completely messed up” in his voice. A sudden shot he should’ve thought through. The pain and disgust just got deeper when the video goes to his girlfriend, Diamond “Lavish” Reynolds, in the back of a police car with her four year old daughter. Reynolds screams from the emotional pain of not knowing the true fate of her boyfriend. Her daughter, probably not comprehending the whole situation, sits assuring her. A truly, truly vile event that could have, and should have, been prevented.
I don’t want this to be an essay on gun control. That’s not the point I’m trying to make. I don’t care if you are a licensed carrier, or a huntsman, or even just enjoy shooting on a range. Go ahead and have your guns. I don’t care, just don't be an a**hole and murderer. The only thing I care about is humanity. When you look up “humanity” on http://www.thesaurus.com/, more words related to humanity include: benevolence, good will, charity, mercy, forbearance... The list goes on. These are things that have been lost in the world. Things maybe, I realize now, maybe the world didn't ever have.
When you look in a history textbook, you see racism spanning generations, decades, centuries. From peasants to slaves to segregation, it has always been there. People think that just because African-Americans have rights now means that racism is over and they have no need to complain or play the victim. I’m sorry, but Philandro Castile was a victim. A victim of the ignorance of the nation. We have seen so many black people’s faces on the news because they were shot by a police officer. I am tired. I am tired of hearing these stories of young black men and women being gunned down, the officer(s) who did it being on paid leave, proof being shown against the officer(s), and it being brushed under the rug. I am tired of seeing this vicious cycle over and over again because people refuse to believe that there are bad cops out there. Guess what? There are. There are bad everythings. Bad teachers, bad cashiers, bad governors, bad priests and pastors, bad delivery men... All careers have their own not-so-innocent regime. So why is it so difficult to admit that police can be bad? Why has it been a trope in movies and television that, when a black person sees a cop, they get nervous or tell a witty one-liner about not moving? It’s because the reality of bad police exists. Bad people exist, always have and always will, no matter what career they have.
Castile was known as a good man. He worked at the J.J. Hill Montessori School in St. Paul, and they released this statement about him which says:
"Mr. Castile was promoted to a supervisory position two years ago and was currently working in one of our schools during the summer term.
Colleagues describe him as a team player who maintained great relationships with staff and students alike. He had a cheerful disposition and his colleagues enjoyed working with him. He was quick to greet former coworkers with a smile and hug. One coworker said, “Kids loved him. He was smart, over-qualified. He was quiet, respectful, and kind. I knew him as warm and funny; he called me his 'wing man.' He wore a shirt and tie to his supervisor interview and said his goal was to one day 'sit on the other side of this table.’”
Those who worked with him daily said he will be greatly missed."
He had no criminal history, either.
This is the lack of humanity I’m talking about.
The fact that we even have to read articles that prove Castile was a good man. I remember when Tamir Rice, who was only twelve, was shot and they started pulling any bad thing he had done to make us feel better about it. He was twelve. The same things happened to Trayvon Martin, Eric Gardner, Freddie Gray and countless others. I remember scanning articles about how they “were bad in school” or “acted out.” It shouldn't matter. The bottom line is someone that, at the time, was innocent and yet brutally murdered. Humanity isn’t there. The police officers of this world that are good and are doing their jobs aren’t even standing up to their worse colleagues! It is something that will just happen again and again. And that breaks my heart. My heart breaks for the black community. When people say “Black lives matter,” they’re saying “We know all lives matter but apparently our judicial system doesn’t so we have to focus on making black people feel human.”
Like I said, I’m tired. I couldn’t even imagine how tired the entirety of the black community is. I know an apology will never fix that. We live in a harsh world where people don’t care about one another. We don’t even acknowledge racism where it is blatantly obvious anymore.
Please, feel free to keep your guns. I don’t care. But please take a look around and acknowledge your fellow human beings need help and support. Please bring back humanity.
Black lives matter.
