"As I get older I'm more and more comfortable being alone."
-Sienna Miller
Lately, I have found myself greatly struggling with meeting more and more people my age who are either married or engaged. But even more, how so many of them really can't give me a definitive reason as to why they decided to get engaged so early on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not so cynical as to believe all marriages that occur before 25 are hopeless, but with a divorce rate of 50% in our nation, I find it very hard to have hope in certain couples who seem to have it all wrong.
Couples like "X" who is marrying their fiance because they are "reliable" and will take care of the kids without spending all their money, but never once used "love" as part of their reason.
Couples who believe their fiancé will change after 4 years and will leave a town and family they so clearly cannot live without. Even couples who believe all other possibilities must be "whores" "cheaters" and other derogatory terms.
In all honesty, I could go on with other reasons, but at the end of the day, I would never say anything to affect anyone's chance at happiness. Because for all I know, they could be part of the lucky ones who last well into the end of their lives.
But what I have learned in watching them, my parents and so many others is that
I'm not ready to meet the love of my life yet
And that's okay.
I admit, that I still hope for a love greater than myself, but if that doesn't happen for a few more years I'll be okay. In the meantime, I can focus on taking care of me. I can focus on my hobbies, my aspirations in life and ultimately deciding how I want to live the rest of my life.
Because right now I still have no idea.
This world is full of incredible opportunities in different cities, states, and even countries, and what I might be looking for may not even be in the same time zone as me. So I wait.
But waiting is still way harder than I expected
Because patience is one of the hardest virtues to obtain, but even harder to maintain. Even more than that, being alone sometimes just sucks.
It's hard not to have someone to plan a cliché valentine's day with. It's hard to watch more and more of your friends find "the one" their heart desires. And it's hard to sift through so many crappy people who still play games and leave you hanging.
But then I remember that I'm not ready yet, and that gives me more peace than I thought it could.
Because one day, it will be my turn, but that day is probably not today. So in the meantime, I hope to explore more, friend more and build a life I am proud of and excited about. With or without a lover in tow.
