I imagined myself to be more excited for this moment. I imagined adrenaline of excitement pumping through my veins, yet I lay here in my bed, half packed, three days away, and I feel more nervous than anything. The funny thing is, I am not nervous about making friends or my classes being too hard. The truth is, I am nervous to be on my own. There will be no curfews or anyone to tell me to do the dishes or clean my room. It is all on me now.

When I received my acceptance letter eight months ago, independence sounded so liberating. Now, it feels like I'm trapped within my own reasoning. They say you learn from your mistakes, but this far, you have tried your hardest to shield me from those experiences. The pain and heartbreak that comes along with bad decisions has been avoided. Well, I have made a few questionable choices, but you were always there to help me pick up the pieces.

Yes, I would be lying if i said I wasn't still a little excited because I am looking so forward to this adventure, but part of me wishes you could be there by my side. OK, yes, I don't actually want you there with me, but then again, a small part of me does. I do not know what it will feel like to be gone for such prolonged periods of time. Four hours away is a long drive. Four hours from home to home is a heart stretch.

I remember when I was little and I got in trouble, you guys would make me tell God what I did and ask for his forgiveness. I do not think you know what effect this seemingly little task would have on my life. That is the kind of parents you always were. The type that taught love and forgiveness. That does not mean I was always off the hook, no; when I got in trouble it was never easy punishment. You guys yelled at me and told me no, but at the end of the day I know there is nothing I could ever do to make you love me any less.

In a moment of truth, I have always been very independent. In high school you never told me to get good grades or apply to college. You never asked me to get a job or told me to be home by 11. I just did it, but I did this all because you taught me values and ambition. Your hard work taught me to never give up. That failure and laziness is not an option. From that my life has taught me all the things you would have hoped. Although we rarely see eye to eye, every opinionated argument and raged feud we have is because you taught me that my opinions were worth the word and effort. You taught me my voice matters.

There is no love like the love you have for your parents. I love you even when I hate you. This time, I am going to have to learn to live without you. This time, you are going to have to leave me a place you have spent less than 10 hours at, four hours away from home. This time, I am going to make you proud.

I will make mistakes. I will do things that you wished I would not have. I will always love you.