Alright well, I turn twenty-one this upcoming week and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Granted, as with any year comes a new age and with that comes a hoist of new responsibilities and what specifically, I have no idea, but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. The fact that I'm growing up is pretty much the problem here and when not much of adult things really interest me, and I'm not only alluding to video games being a primary source of "childlike" entertainment, there seems to be some kind of clash between what is actually going on when my age moves up one.

I'm going to be twenty-one. That sounds beyond weird to me and not really that exciting personally. As crazy as I can be and as wacky or just free spirited I am, I'm not one to really need anything to help with that, like drugs or alcohol. That may seem out of left field but the first thing people want to say after I tell them I turn 21 this year is "You going to get f****d up on your birthday?", or simply inviting me to go trash my day away because its "fun." Maybe it's my lack of experience of getting drunk and blacking out that I don't see the fun or purpose in it, but I can't seem to put a finger on why it's so necessary when I turn 21. I'm not a big fan of alcohol and I probably won't be. It's not exactly something I care to be around, do, or take care of when people can't handle their own drinks. I won't take care of anyone who has the goal of getting drunk because that's what they wanted and if them driving drunk would only lead to themselves being hurt or death, then so be it. Sadly, it usually ends up with innocent lives affected so I take the keys away or drive them myself if I have to.

I don't know where I've gotten the strong feeling against drinking, but it's not exactly my thing. It must have come from high school and throughout my college time. Hearing everyone brag about it or just use it as a tool to get laid or "get loose" had gotten old way too quickly and it's all anyone ever wanted to talk about. "Yo i got wasted at this party and blah blah blah" was the same old scenario every damn time and I can't stand much of it anymore.

I had gone to a Christmas party this past weekend, and had genuinely felt out of place. There wasn't exactly a need for me to be there and there has been a pretty stupid clash in relationships with people who were there so there were two reasons why I didn't care to be there, but I kept my word on saying I'd go. There was a little drinking involved not much though, a shot for someone's birthday, a little drinks for some of the ones of age, but that's about it, yet that still bothered me. Some people were just drinking to drink, and it's difficult for me to understand, and maybe that's where I get my strong feeling from it. I was sitting in the kitchen and someone didn't want some alcohol in their cup because they don't care for the kind but they just mixed it with lemonade (i think) and drank it anyway as if it was an obligation.

Turning twenty-one is great and all but I just want to pass this whole birthday phase for this age. It's too drinking oriented for me and I don't really care to go out with anyone who thinks they'll get me to do so. Just tell me happy birthday and leave me be.